I received a call yesterday from someone who is looking for food assistance for the first time. It can be scary, and overwhelming, and downright humiliating.
(If you find yourself in need for the first time, you may also find this post helpful.)
Tips for your first visit
* Call ahead. Try to find out as much as possible about the pantry you will be visiting before you go. Check out their website, call and listen to their outgoing message, and/or try to speak to someone directly (though the last one is tricky since most pantries are volunteer run).
What paperwork do they require? Should you line up early or is it better to come later?
Are there restrictions? (This last one is a big one. I have heard of folks standing in line for an hour for a local pantry who were turned away at the door because they did not live in the right county. Ask first.)
* Take ID and a current utility bill displaying your address with you. Some pantries require more, but this is likely the least you will need. Make sure the address on each matches the address on your paperwork. If you have moved and not gotten an update ID, call the DMV for an official (free) change of address card.
If you are homeless (even living in someone else's home), check with the pantry on their policies.
If you have time and ability to do so, make a folder with birth certificates, current bills, pay stubs, etc. to expedite the process in case you are applying somewhere that needs more documentation.
* Prepare for a wait. Just allow yourself at least an hour or two buffer until you know how the system works. Even then, during busy seasons (usually summer and holidays) the wait can be longer than you expect.
If you have to squeeze it in on your lunch hour or before a doctor's appointment, try to call ahead and ask the pantry for advice.
* Try to find a sitter. It is better to get the lay of the land on your first visit without your kids with you if at all possible. Alternatively, take someone with you whose sole purpose is to help watch your kid.
Pantries are often full of shelves of stuff, and not safe places for kids to wander. Have someone directly supervise your child(ren) every minute if they must go with you for their own safety and the safety of others in the area. This is also a courtesy to other pantry guests and volunteers.
Take things for your kids to do while they wait. Things that are quiet and self contained are best: books, paper and crayons, etc.
* Take your own bags. You may not need to use them, but for pantries like ours it's always a blessing to save a few bags.
* Look for friendly faces and ask questions. Whether it's another person in line or a volunteer, it's fine to let people know it's your first time and ask how things work.
* Prepare to become a creative cook. Prepare your family to try new foods. You will likely not receive items your family is used to eating. Which leads directly to......
* Look for alternative sources of protein and ways to stretch protein. Most pantries are not equipped to give you much fresh meat. Beans and nuts are a great source of protein. Many pantries will have canned meats, especially tuna, so be ready to look for recipes like casseroles and soups that can stretch a small can of meat for your family.
General Information about pantries
* Food selection process will vary based on the pantry. A "client choice" pantry allows you to pick from a range of items. Other pantries prepack food and you receive it sight unseen.
* Some of the people in line are "regulars" and may have been to multiple pantries. They may have good advice for you. They may also give you erroneous information about the process based on their own biases and sense of authority. Always double check information with a volunteer / staff member.
* Volunteers are people too. They may be having a bad day. They may have been treated poorly by someone else in line, or really be burned out on the process. It is unfortunate but true that some pantries and the volunteers who run them may make you feel unwelcome, unloved, or ashamed. Please don't take that personally. Pray for them, offer them a kind word, and know that they are trying to do a good thing, even if it comes out wrong sometime.
(On the flip side, if you open yourself up to it, you might make great friends with volunteers and other guests.)
Do you have other questions as you are getting ready for your first pantry visit? Post them here.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
How do you know if someone is being honest?
I get this question a lot. It's often phrased like "How do you know someone really has need?" or "What type of information do you check?"
The simple and short answer is that we don't know if someone is being honest with us or not. We extend them grace and acceptance, just like God extends to us, and we treat everyone who comes in the same.
Everyone who comes to us has need. On the surface, everyone is coming for food and other types of material assistance. But we all need grace. So if someone is coming to us without a sincere need for food, they still have a sincere need for grace and love and we try to demonstrate that. A couple bags of food is a small price to pay for this opportunity.
Some pantries do an extensive amount of paperwork in an effort to keep people honest. There is one large local pantry that requires a variety of paperwork (including birth certificates for everyone in your household), a signed referral from a church or other agency, and a waiting period while they check and verify all of your information. I sign these referrals sometimes, which always generates a phone call to make sure I am a real person who really signed the form and verify the person is in need of assistance.
I get it. I really do. They serve a lot more people than we do. This is their approach at being fair.
We do check a photo ID and ask for a current piece of mail to verify the address given to us. We check this about once a year on everyone, and reserve the right to do so more if we think something is going on. We are lenient about giving folks a few visits to produce this documentation. We are lenient with those who are homeless in terms of verifying an address. We have a 2 sided form that everyone fills out, which includes a pledge of honesty guests sign.
We have everyone fill out a brand new form about once a year. We go over their form with them every time they come in to make sure their information is correct.
Why don't we do more?
* It requires a large amount of volunteer time and effort to go more in depth with verifying info. That time could be better spent in more productive relationship building with people.
* If someone is really committed to lying to get some free food, they will work the system no matter how complex. If this happens, they obviously have some form of real need that should be addressed.
* If the system is too complex, vulnerable people will have barriers to getting assistance they truly need. Someone who is elderly, illiterate, undereducated, chronically ill, managing a house full of kids, working multiple jobs to make ends meet, non-English speaking, etc. is going to have a hard time completing a pile of paperwork in a timely fashion and may get into a more deeply critical situation.
* It is far better for a person's spirit to assume they are being honest until you have reason to believe otherwise. Believing the best about someone, especially someone who is going through a hard time, is a great gift.
* It is important to remember it's just "us" and not "us / them."
When I visited this large pantry, it was pretty clear that the staff and volunteers were superior. This doesn't mean that there weren't some very nice people there. But it was obvious from the way the application and check in process was run that they wanted to firmly establish the agency's dominance over it's clients. It made me a little uncomfortable. People were getting fed, but there was a subtle human cost.
My partner Laura does paperwork, files reports, keeps spreadsheets, etc. It is important to be business like and in control in some respects. We don't ignore this aspect.
However, a big part of how we know someone's level of need is that we try to get to know them. We have conversations. We hear their stories. We laugh together and cry together and pray together. This takes time.
My theory is that the "us-ness" of the way we run things is going to be very hard to stomach for those who might wish to be blatantly dishonest. Either this approach is going to change their heart, or they are going to go elsewhere for assistance. It happens, but those people are the minority.
* We've done this awhile. We aren't naive. People lie. Chances are, we can figure out pretty quickly when someone is being dishonest with us. Even with our simple paperwork, Laura has a great mind for picking up when something is "off."
It is almost never because they don't have a true need for food and support. It is usually centered around who lives in a household, because sometimes people will try to claim to be more households than they are to get more food. (ie - Multiple adults living under the same roof may try to make up an address.)
A friend once told me that if she were desperate to feed her family, she was sure she would falsify information if it meant she could get more food. It's dishonest but understandable. We hope if someone is that desperate they will figure out that they can talk to us and we can see how to dig deeper with them to help improve their situation. That's why we no longer distribute food based on family size. We don't want to set up a situation where someone might be tempted into dishonesty out of desperation.
If we have a sense someone is trying to pull one over on us, we generally give them a grace-filled chance to correct it. Asking someone to clarify something because we are confused or think we may have made a mistake on their paperwork is a good way to create a safe space for honesty.
Matthew 10:16 says we should be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves. That's where we try to land so that we can openly love on our neighbors while still being good stewards of our resources.
What makes us different?
Grace.
Our response to the grace God extends to us every day is to do the same for others.
The simple and short answer is that we don't know if someone is being honest with us or not. We extend them grace and acceptance, just like God extends to us, and we treat everyone who comes in the same.
Everyone who comes to us has need. On the surface, everyone is coming for food and other types of material assistance. But we all need grace. So if someone is coming to us without a sincere need for food, they still have a sincere need for grace and love and we try to demonstrate that. A couple bags of food is a small price to pay for this opportunity.
Some pantries do an extensive amount of paperwork in an effort to keep people honest. There is one large local pantry that requires a variety of paperwork (including birth certificates for everyone in your household), a signed referral from a church or other agency, and a waiting period while they check and verify all of your information. I sign these referrals sometimes, which always generates a phone call to make sure I am a real person who really signed the form and verify the person is in need of assistance.
I get it. I really do. They serve a lot more people than we do. This is their approach at being fair.
We do check a photo ID and ask for a current piece of mail to verify the address given to us. We check this about once a year on everyone, and reserve the right to do so more if we think something is going on. We are lenient about giving folks a few visits to produce this documentation. We are lenient with those who are homeless in terms of verifying an address. We have a 2 sided form that everyone fills out, which includes a pledge of honesty guests sign.
We have everyone fill out a brand new form about once a year. We go over their form with them every time they come in to make sure their information is correct.
Why don't we do more?
* It requires a large amount of volunteer time and effort to go more in depth with verifying info. That time could be better spent in more productive relationship building with people.
* If someone is really committed to lying to get some free food, they will work the system no matter how complex. If this happens, they obviously have some form of real need that should be addressed.
* If the system is too complex, vulnerable people will have barriers to getting assistance they truly need. Someone who is elderly, illiterate, undereducated, chronically ill, managing a house full of kids, working multiple jobs to make ends meet, non-English speaking, etc. is going to have a hard time completing a pile of paperwork in a timely fashion and may get into a more deeply critical situation.
* It is far better for a person's spirit to assume they are being honest until you have reason to believe otherwise. Believing the best about someone, especially someone who is going through a hard time, is a great gift.
* It is important to remember it's just "us" and not "us / them."
When I visited this large pantry, it was pretty clear that the staff and volunteers were superior. This doesn't mean that there weren't some very nice people there. But it was obvious from the way the application and check in process was run that they wanted to firmly establish the agency's dominance over it's clients. It made me a little uncomfortable. People were getting fed, but there was a subtle human cost.
My partner Laura does paperwork, files reports, keeps spreadsheets, etc. It is important to be business like and in control in some respects. We don't ignore this aspect.
However, a big part of how we know someone's level of need is that we try to get to know them. We have conversations. We hear their stories. We laugh together and cry together and pray together. This takes time.
My theory is that the "us-ness" of the way we run things is going to be very hard to stomach for those who might wish to be blatantly dishonest. Either this approach is going to change their heart, or they are going to go elsewhere for assistance. It happens, but those people are the minority.
* We've done this awhile. We aren't naive. People lie. Chances are, we can figure out pretty quickly when someone is being dishonest with us. Even with our simple paperwork, Laura has a great mind for picking up when something is "off."
It is almost never because they don't have a true need for food and support. It is usually centered around who lives in a household, because sometimes people will try to claim to be more households than they are to get more food. (ie - Multiple adults living under the same roof may try to make up an address.)
A friend once told me that if she were desperate to feed her family, she was sure she would falsify information if it meant she could get more food. It's dishonest but understandable. We hope if someone is that desperate they will figure out that they can talk to us and we can see how to dig deeper with them to help improve their situation. That's why we no longer distribute food based on family size. We don't want to set up a situation where someone might be tempted into dishonesty out of desperation.
If we have a sense someone is trying to pull one over on us, we generally give them a grace-filled chance to correct it. Asking someone to clarify something because we are confused or think we may have made a mistake on their paperwork is a good way to create a safe space for honesty.
Matthew 10:16 says we should be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves. That's where we try to land so that we can openly love on our neighbors while still being good stewards of our resources.
What makes us different?
Grace.
Our response to the grace God extends to us every day is to do the same for others.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Tips for donors: Money or food?
I am often asked whether we prefer donations of money or food. My answer is both.
Each pantry and foodbank will be different. In some cases, I suspect that very large pantries and foodbanks could do more with money. On the flip side, smaller pantries with less man power may really need you to bring food directly to them. Before you donate, contact the agency you are interested in helping to find their preference.
We are a suburban pantry that serves 20-30 families per week on average. We are a member of Feedmore (Central Virginia Foodbank) and therefore Feeding America.
Here's why I like donations of BOTH money and food:
Money
* Most of the year, we do not receive enough donations of food to serve all of our guests. (November and December during prime food drive season is a little different.) Money in reserve allows us to shop to fill in the gaps.
* We can sometimes do more with your money than you can. If we are able to find what we need at Feedmore, we pay only a low shared maintenance cost to withdraw food (usually 19cents per pound).
* Sometimes we have nutritional gaps that need to be filled quickly. If, for example, we are all out of protein and have some money on hand, we can go to the grocery store to fill in the gaps by shopping sales. We generally can plan ahead to keep such emergencies from happening, but available funds help in a pinch.
* For some people, being able to give money is just easier. Some people who really want to support us never would if they had to go shopping. Making a donation in the offering plate or our church e-giving system is quick and easy, and allows those interested to support us and be involved in a way that fits their lifestyle.
* Sometimes we don't need food. Sometimes we need supplies to help us acquire and distribute the food. Since our ministry is more than just a pantry, sometimes we may need funds to support a ministry guest through other means than food. Having funds allows us flexibility to do these things.
Food
* Direct donations of food save us as volunteers a lot of time and effort. If you bring the food to us, all we have to do is put it away. Going to Feedmore requires an appointment and a number of hours for shopping, hauling, unloading, sorting, and stocking. Going to the grocery store still requires a volunteer to put in extra time to acquire food. When you give us food, you allow us to use our time in other ways.
* Direct donations of food means we have more variety to share. We are a client choice pantry, which means guest select their own food within certain parameters. In our case, it is one item per shelf, and we try to arrange it logically. Therefore, your can of beets might go on the vegetable shelf with cans of spinach, carrots, and asparagus. Some of these might be organic, no sodium, vegan, etc.. Our guest can pick the item off that shelf that their family will be most likely to eat that best suits their nutritional needs. If we shop, we might end up with case after case of green beans, which works fine, but doesn't allow the same nutritional variety.
* Direct donation of food helps prevent food waste. If you buy a box of oatmeal, eat one pouch and hate it, you can give us the rest (as long as the individual pouches are sealed). Someone else might like it. You know that odd can of soup you picked up by accident? We'll share it. Don't have room to store that entire case of whatever that you bought at Costco? Give us your extras. We even take recently expired food, because most canned items are good for at least a year past date. (You could eat it yourself, but if you really want to get rid of it, don't throw it out. Let us check it first.)
* Donating food helps donors feel more connected to the process. Writing a check can be too easy sometimes. Our hearts are more engaged if we select the items and think about those who might receive them in the process. Think about your kid's favorite fruit, or the new healthy item that you love serving your family, and then know another family might appreciate it the same way you do. If you live alone, you are well suited to shop for items that may eventually go to someone else in a one person household.
Ask before you donate.
Anything you give will be appreciated, but if you want to have the greatest impact, contact the agency you wish to donate to and ask their preference.
If you are in western Henrico and would like to support our pantry with food OR funds, email me at care@gaytonchurch.org.
Each pantry and foodbank will be different. In some cases, I suspect that very large pantries and foodbanks could do more with money. On the flip side, smaller pantries with less man power may really need you to bring food directly to them. Before you donate, contact the agency you are interested in helping to find their preference.
We are a suburban pantry that serves 20-30 families per week on average. We are a member of Feedmore (Central Virginia Foodbank) and therefore Feeding America.
Here's why I like donations of BOTH money and food:
Money
* Most of the year, we do not receive enough donations of food to serve all of our guests. (November and December during prime food drive season is a little different.) Money in reserve allows us to shop to fill in the gaps.
* We can sometimes do more with your money than you can. If we are able to find what we need at Feedmore, we pay only a low shared maintenance cost to withdraw food (usually 19cents per pound).
* Sometimes we have nutritional gaps that need to be filled quickly. If, for example, we are all out of protein and have some money on hand, we can go to the grocery store to fill in the gaps by shopping sales. We generally can plan ahead to keep such emergencies from happening, but available funds help in a pinch.
* For some people, being able to give money is just easier. Some people who really want to support us never would if they had to go shopping. Making a donation in the offering plate or our church e-giving system is quick and easy, and allows those interested to support us and be involved in a way that fits their lifestyle.
* Sometimes we don't need food. Sometimes we need supplies to help us acquire and distribute the food. Since our ministry is more than just a pantry, sometimes we may need funds to support a ministry guest through other means than food. Having funds allows us flexibility to do these things.
Food
* Direct donations of food save us as volunteers a lot of time and effort. If you bring the food to us, all we have to do is put it away. Going to Feedmore requires an appointment and a number of hours for shopping, hauling, unloading, sorting, and stocking. Going to the grocery store still requires a volunteer to put in extra time to acquire food. When you give us food, you allow us to use our time in other ways.
* Direct donations of food means we have more variety to share. We are a client choice pantry, which means guest select their own food within certain parameters. In our case, it is one item per shelf, and we try to arrange it logically. Therefore, your can of beets might go on the vegetable shelf with cans of spinach, carrots, and asparagus. Some of these might be organic, no sodium, vegan, etc.. Our guest can pick the item off that shelf that their family will be most likely to eat that best suits their nutritional needs. If we shop, we might end up with case after case of green beans, which works fine, but doesn't allow the same nutritional variety.
* Direct donation of food helps prevent food waste. If you buy a box of oatmeal, eat one pouch and hate it, you can give us the rest (as long as the individual pouches are sealed). Someone else might like it. You know that odd can of soup you picked up by accident? We'll share it. Don't have room to store that entire case of whatever that you bought at Costco? Give us your extras. We even take recently expired food, because most canned items are good for at least a year past date. (You could eat it yourself, but if you really want to get rid of it, don't throw it out. Let us check it first.)
* Donating food helps donors feel more connected to the process. Writing a check can be too easy sometimes. Our hearts are more engaged if we select the items and think about those who might receive them in the process. Think about your kid's favorite fruit, or the new healthy item that you love serving your family, and then know another family might appreciate it the same way you do. If you live alone, you are well suited to shop for items that may eventually go to someone else in a one person household.
Ask before you donate.
Anything you give will be appreciated, but if you want to have the greatest impact, contact the agency you wish to donate to and ask their preference.
If you are in western Henrico and would like to support our pantry with food OR funds, email me at care@gaytonchurch.org.
Monday, December 8, 2014
When you need help: First steps
As a suburban pantry, we often see people who are newly in financial distress.
I have the same conversation about first steps with many people.
If you find yourself in financial distress and are unsure what to do first, here are some ideas for taking a bit of control of your situation. Depending upon how deep your troubles are, these will certainly not solve your entire problem, but the cumulative effect over time should alleviate some financial strain.
Cut off the cable
I know in our culture this feels like a "need," but it is actually a luxury that can be a fairly large expense. Yes, your kids will be disappointed. Yes, you may miss some shows you like. You will all adapt, and it is a good opportunity to find new hobbies.
However, you do not have to go completely without TV.
Depending upon where you live, you can get a digital receiver or antenna to receive some channels without a monthly cost. (http://antennatv.tv/free/ is one source of information to help with this process.)
Your local library likely has a large selection of DVDs that you can check out for free, and in larger areas (such as Henrico County, VA where I live) you can get additional titles from other libraries sent to your branch for no charge. Visit your library to find out how this works.
Also, the occasional splurge for a Redbox movie is far cheaper than a monthly cable bill.
(No DVD player? Check Goodwill. Also, if you were to contact my pantry and explain what you were trying to do, I would try to find you a donated used DVD player. I bet many other agencies would do this as well.)
Cut off the internet
If you have a student, this might be a hardship, so see if you are eligible for Internet Essentials.
Otherwise, home internet is something you can live without. If you have a laptop that can use WiFi, many public places offer free access.
No computer? No problem. Most public libraries have free internet usage. (In Henrico County, VA, you can use a computer with internet 2 hours per day if you have a free library card.) Check with your local library for details.
This is an inconvenience, but it is also a huge cost savings.
Minimize your phone bills
Cut off the home phone OR the cell phone.
Whichever phone you keep, check your plan and work to remove any extras and pare your services down to the bare minimum. You can always add services back when your situation improves.
Work with your power company before it's too late
Call the power company at the first sign you may not be able to pay in full. You may be able to get an extension or be put on a payment plan.
IF you get an extension or payment plan, DO NOT default on it. Your power company will not be likely to work with you in the future if you default.
If you have a medical need for electricity (such as a CPAP machine), then check with your power company about a medical extension. You will need a doctor to complete forms. This is generally longer than a normal extension.
Apply for free / reduced price meals for your school aged children
First off, this saves on your grocery bill. Some schools offer breakfast and lunch every day.
For kids who are picky or having a hard time transitioning, you may need to ease them in. Go over the school menu with them to help determine the days that they will "buy" meals on the program for the week. You could also send a simple snack (such as a piece of fruit or a granola bar) to go with those first few meals to help add a "touch of home." The goal would be to eventually have them eating as many meals as are available to them at the school.
Perhaps more importantly, being signed up for the school lunch program will make you eligible for other programs in your area. Some schools, PTAs, and agencies specifically target families enrolled in this program.
Talk to your children's guidance counselors
Not only can they help you apply for the lunch program, but they can also keep an eye out for your student during this difficult time and help connect you to other services you may need in your area.
Don't wait to apply with Social Services
If you know with certainty your situation is temporary, then you can wait.
Otherwise, contact Social Services in your area right away to see what you are eligible for and begin the application process. It can sometimes take weeks or months to begin receiving assistance.
SNAP (formerly Food Stamps) is available on a sliding scale. Even if you are eligible for a small amount of benefits, it is better than nothing.
Other tips? Feel free to leave a comment.
I have the same conversation about first steps with many people.
If you find yourself in financial distress and are unsure what to do first, here are some ideas for taking a bit of control of your situation. Depending upon how deep your troubles are, these will certainly not solve your entire problem, but the cumulative effect over time should alleviate some financial strain.
Cut off the cable
I know in our culture this feels like a "need," but it is actually a luxury that can be a fairly large expense. Yes, your kids will be disappointed. Yes, you may miss some shows you like. You will all adapt, and it is a good opportunity to find new hobbies.
However, you do not have to go completely without TV.
Depending upon where you live, you can get a digital receiver or antenna to receive some channels without a monthly cost. (http://antennatv.tv/free/ is one source of information to help with this process.)
Your local library likely has a large selection of DVDs that you can check out for free, and in larger areas (such as Henrico County, VA where I live) you can get additional titles from other libraries sent to your branch for no charge. Visit your library to find out how this works.
Also, the occasional splurge for a Redbox movie is far cheaper than a monthly cable bill.
(No DVD player? Check Goodwill. Also, if you were to contact my pantry and explain what you were trying to do, I would try to find you a donated used DVD player. I bet many other agencies would do this as well.)
Cut off the internet
If you have a student, this might be a hardship, so see if you are eligible for Internet Essentials.
Otherwise, home internet is something you can live without. If you have a laptop that can use WiFi, many public places offer free access.
No computer? No problem. Most public libraries have free internet usage. (In Henrico County, VA, you can use a computer with internet 2 hours per day if you have a free library card.) Check with your local library for details.
This is an inconvenience, but it is also a huge cost savings.
Minimize your phone bills
Cut off the home phone OR the cell phone.
Whichever phone you keep, check your plan and work to remove any extras and pare your services down to the bare minimum. You can always add services back when your situation improves.
Work with your power company before it's too late
Call the power company at the first sign you may not be able to pay in full. You may be able to get an extension or be put on a payment plan.
IF you get an extension or payment plan, DO NOT default on it. Your power company will not be likely to work with you in the future if you default.
If you have a medical need for electricity (such as a CPAP machine), then check with your power company about a medical extension. You will need a doctor to complete forms. This is generally longer than a normal extension.
Apply for free / reduced price meals for your school aged children
First off, this saves on your grocery bill. Some schools offer breakfast and lunch every day.
For kids who are picky or having a hard time transitioning, you may need to ease them in. Go over the school menu with them to help determine the days that they will "buy" meals on the program for the week. You could also send a simple snack (such as a piece of fruit or a granola bar) to go with those first few meals to help add a "touch of home." The goal would be to eventually have them eating as many meals as are available to them at the school.
Perhaps more importantly, being signed up for the school lunch program will make you eligible for other programs in your area. Some schools, PTAs, and agencies specifically target families enrolled in this program.
Talk to your children's guidance counselors
Not only can they help you apply for the lunch program, but they can also keep an eye out for your student during this difficult time and help connect you to other services you may need in your area.
Don't wait to apply with Social Services
If you know with certainty your situation is temporary, then you can wait.
Otherwise, contact Social Services in your area right away to see what you are eligible for and begin the application process. It can sometimes take weeks or months to begin receiving assistance.
SNAP (formerly Food Stamps) is available on a sliding scale. Even if you are eligible for a small amount of benefits, it is better than nothing.
Other tips? Feel free to leave a comment.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Guest story: Terry
All guests names, and some identifying details, have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.
We met Terry today. She is a middle age, single, caucasion woman.
Today was the first time she had ever been to a food pantry.
She is a member of a nearby church that supports us with donations. Someone there told her she should come see us.
She came in near the end of the day. Laura helped her get her paperwork in order. While Laura was giving her the introductory tour, she started crying. I tried to make light, but frankly my jokes just aren't that good, so it didn't seem to help. I connected her with another volunteer to help her with her shopping, and by the time she was done, she seemed a lot calmer and even cracked a smile.
On the way out we got to chat with her about a mutual friend. I think that's when the "us-ness" of the situation sank in for her. I think she came in ready to feel marginalized by the experience. I hope what she left with was a feeling of inclusion and community.
I walked with her to her car so I could bring the cart back. She really needed to talk, and I was happy it was the end of the day so we had some time.
She became a single mother when her (now adult) daughter was two, but had managed to buy a home and save some money even in those tough circumstances. She had to retired early because of a health issue. She had always thought her savings would see her through retirement, but all of those funds are gone now because of medical expenses and she lives from disability check to disability check. The bills are piling up.
Her mother has dementia and she helps care for her on weekdays. Our women's and youth ministries recently made "stockings for seniors" for us to distribute, and she was happy to take one of these with her to share with her mother.
On top of all of this, she suffers from depression.
I hope she left with a little bit better off for having met us, and I hope God planted some seeds of comfort in her heart today.
We met Terry today. She is a middle age, single, caucasion woman.
Today was the first time she had ever been to a food pantry.
She is a member of a nearby church that supports us with donations. Someone there told her she should come see us.
She came in near the end of the day. Laura helped her get her paperwork in order. While Laura was giving her the introductory tour, she started crying. I tried to make light, but frankly my jokes just aren't that good, so it didn't seem to help. I connected her with another volunteer to help her with her shopping, and by the time she was done, she seemed a lot calmer and even cracked a smile.
On the way out we got to chat with her about a mutual friend. I think that's when the "us-ness" of the situation sank in for her. I think she came in ready to feel marginalized by the experience. I hope what she left with was a feeling of inclusion and community.
I walked with her to her car so I could bring the cart back. She really needed to talk, and I was happy it was the end of the day so we had some time.
She became a single mother when her (now adult) daughter was two, but had managed to buy a home and save some money even in those tough circumstances. She had to retired early because of a health issue. She had always thought her savings would see her through retirement, but all of those funds are gone now because of medical expenses and she lives from disability check to disability check. The bills are piling up.
Her mother has dementia and she helps care for her on weekdays. Our women's and youth ministries recently made "stockings for seniors" for us to distribute, and she was happy to take one of these with her to share with her mother.
On top of all of this, she suffers from depression.
I hope she left with a little bit better off for having met us, and I hope God planted some seeds of comfort in her heart today.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
A Week in the Life of Food Pantry Leader - Thursday and Friday
The last half of the week was a bit less eventful than the first.
Mid-day Thursday I got the call that the cash was ready for our friends travelling back to Vermont. I called them, and we met at the church. I handed over cash and gift cards, and we had a little chat on the couches.
I finally had a chance to ask about their family, and why no one else was helping them. A lot of folks we help either are estranged from their families or have families not financially able to help. This was the case for them. The one side of the family was anxious for them to get home, but mom has medial issues and they are already strapped financially. The other side of the family has very little contact with them, and even though they hope for reconciliation with a baby on the way, it didn't seem appropriate to start that process by calling to ask for money. That might have been the thing that turned a strained relationship into a broken one.
We prayed, and I told them that I hoped this was an investment in a future where God was going to use their lives.
They wanted to take some pictures with me before they left. I couldn't say no, but I'm not a fan of having my picture taken anyway, and I was still wearing the clothes I had been cleaning my house in. I took a picture of them together too, before they hit to road. I hope one day, when their child is old enough, they get a chance to talk about this bump on the road in their life journey and how God saw them through.
While I was in the building, I went to drop some things off in the pantry. One of the really amusing parts of this job is all the random stuff that shows up. This week it was a big green bin full of weird candy, odd flavors of gum, Slim Jims, and assorted unsual snacky items. I'm guessing this was stuff that wasn't selling at WaWa, because they removed it during a reset. We will happily give it away, and I have put up a note pointing out that the gum and candy will make great stocking stuffers.
I also got to chat for a few minutes with one of our key volunteers who was dropping of some rescued food. She started with us as a food recipient, but this year has been a vital part of our volunteer team.
Friday I did a food rescue pick up at WaWa. I came back to the pantry and did a talk and tour for some of our preschoolers. It was fun to show them the WaWa items in the insulated bags (because I didn't leave myself enough time to put it away), because it was a good visual on what food rescue really is.
I had to teach at preschool, and afterwards I had 2 appointments. Appointment #1 was a new guest and a no show. Somehow, my Friday appointments are cursed that way. Nearly every time I make an appointment on a Friday they are either very late or don't show (including people from other agencies I've had meetings with, not just people coming for food).
The second appointment was for a member of our church family. While we handle everyone's information with confidentiality, church members get special treatment because it is a bit more sensitive when they might know many of our volunteers. We don't put names on sign in sheets or the outside of folders, and usually only one or two of us ever know who came through. I try to talk through scenarios with folks in case they see someone they know when they are in for an appointment. At any given time, I have folks dropping off donations, picking up for deliveries, volunteering, etc. So while I value honesty, I also value privacy, and we have a few stories worked out in case a church member gets noticed taking food. Fridays are pretty quiet though, and this person and I were likely the only ones in the building anyway. We chatted, and this person ran an idea past me for a potential area of ministry they would like to lead and I gave some starting tips. With everyone, church member or guest from elsewhere, we try really hard to encourage reaching out to others, even in the midst of needing help themselves.
Afterwards, I spent some time rearranging the pantry. Someone is gifting us a freezer they are getting rid of, so I had to make a spot for it. Every time I think we have maxed out capacity for our space, God shows me a way to move a few things to make sometime else fit.
Friday night we went to the grocery store. I am really not good with names, but I am good and remembering people and things about them. So when someone came up to me and produce and said hi, and I had no idea who they were, I was confused. I'm sure I'd never met them. Turns out, they had heard our missions moment a church a few weeks ago. I tend to think of myself as pretty anonymous, so that was weird. But it was also lovely that they stopped me to say hello.
Other than answering a few emails, no pantry work today (Saturday), and the cycle of a new work starts all over again with tomorrow's donations.
Mid-day Thursday I got the call that the cash was ready for our friends travelling back to Vermont. I called them, and we met at the church. I handed over cash and gift cards, and we had a little chat on the couches.
I finally had a chance to ask about their family, and why no one else was helping them. A lot of folks we help either are estranged from their families or have families not financially able to help. This was the case for them. The one side of the family was anxious for them to get home, but mom has medial issues and they are already strapped financially. The other side of the family has very little contact with them, and even though they hope for reconciliation with a baby on the way, it didn't seem appropriate to start that process by calling to ask for money. That might have been the thing that turned a strained relationship into a broken one.
We prayed, and I told them that I hoped this was an investment in a future where God was going to use their lives.
They wanted to take some pictures with me before they left. I couldn't say no, but I'm not a fan of having my picture taken anyway, and I was still wearing the clothes I had been cleaning my house in. I took a picture of them together too, before they hit to road. I hope one day, when their child is old enough, they get a chance to talk about this bump on the road in their life journey and how God saw them through.
While I was in the building, I went to drop some things off in the pantry. One of the really amusing parts of this job is all the random stuff that shows up. This week it was a big green bin full of weird candy, odd flavors of gum, Slim Jims, and assorted unsual snacky items. I'm guessing this was stuff that wasn't selling at WaWa, because they removed it during a reset. We will happily give it away, and I have put up a note pointing out that the gum and candy will make great stocking stuffers.
I also got to chat for a few minutes with one of our key volunteers who was dropping of some rescued food. She started with us as a food recipient, but this year has been a vital part of our volunteer team.
Friday I did a food rescue pick up at WaWa. I came back to the pantry and did a talk and tour for some of our preschoolers. It was fun to show them the WaWa items in the insulated bags (because I didn't leave myself enough time to put it away), because it was a good visual on what food rescue really is.
I had to teach at preschool, and afterwards I had 2 appointments. Appointment #1 was a new guest and a no show. Somehow, my Friday appointments are cursed that way. Nearly every time I make an appointment on a Friday they are either very late or don't show (including people from other agencies I've had meetings with, not just people coming for food).
The second appointment was for a member of our church family. While we handle everyone's information with confidentiality, church members get special treatment because it is a bit more sensitive when they might know many of our volunteers. We don't put names on sign in sheets or the outside of folders, and usually only one or two of us ever know who came through. I try to talk through scenarios with folks in case they see someone they know when they are in for an appointment. At any given time, I have folks dropping off donations, picking up for deliveries, volunteering, etc. So while I value honesty, I also value privacy, and we have a few stories worked out in case a church member gets noticed taking food. Fridays are pretty quiet though, and this person and I were likely the only ones in the building anyway. We chatted, and this person ran an idea past me for a potential area of ministry they would like to lead and I gave some starting tips. With everyone, church member or guest from elsewhere, we try really hard to encourage reaching out to others, even in the midst of needing help themselves.
Afterwards, I spent some time rearranging the pantry. Someone is gifting us a freezer they are getting rid of, so I had to make a spot for it. Every time I think we have maxed out capacity for our space, God shows me a way to move a few things to make sometime else fit.
Friday night we went to the grocery store. I am really not good with names, but I am good and remembering people and things about them. So when someone came up to me and produce and said hi, and I had no idea who they were, I was confused. I'm sure I'd never met them. Turns out, they had heard our missions moment a church a few weeks ago. I tend to think of myself as pretty anonymous, so that was weird. But it was also lovely that they stopped me to say hello.
Other than answering a few emails, no pantry work today (Saturday), and the cycle of a new work starts all over again with tomorrow's donations.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
A Week in the Life of a Food Pantry Leader - Wednesday
Well, really, it was supposed to be a light day for pantry work. That's the day that I wanted. That's not the day I got.
On the one hand, we are in a remarkable season where it seems God is moving and growing and changing things in some ways that will come out great on the other side. I feel like we've been through this cycle before, and that overall God is molding this ministry incrementally.
That said, this is the time in the process where things feel like they are moving very quickly, and a lot happens at once.
So, today.....
I had an appointment after work today for 1 guest who was at work during our normal hours. I tidied up a bit, got her paperwork ready, and had the stage all set for a smooth and quick appointment.
While I was waiting for her, a group of 3 ladies just showed up thinking we were open. If I hadn't been there, they would have been turned away by someone else and asked to call me or return next Tuesday. But since I was right there, with the pantry open, I felt like I needed to help them.
Turns out, they just ran into someone in public who told them we were open today. I don't even know what caused them to have that conversation. We used to be open on Wednesdays, but changed that this summer, so I assume the person talking to them had old information. Still, these same ladies had just visited us on a Tuesday a few weeks ago. I remember there were some issues with them at that time. Sadly, not everyone we work with makes it easy. That doesn't mean they don't need our help, and it doesn't mean that we should not show them grace. It does mean that to be good stewards of the gifts we have to share we have to be a bit more vigilant with some people. I don't enjoy that. As it is, these folks did not provide all the required address verifications that we ask for, though we do usually give people 2-3 visits to produce this information. It's all about grace. I strongly suspect that at least 1 or 2 of the 3 are lying to me about their address and living situation in an attempt to get more food. (I suspect they live together and are claiming 2 households. That happens.) I am hopeful that spending one on one time with them will inspire their future honesty with us. It's hard to catch things when we are super busy, and it's hard to have uninterrupted conversations.
So that added a good chunk of time on to that portion of my day, and left me fairly frustrated.
During the course of the morning and afternoon as I was at work and seeing these appointments, I got at least 4-5 phone messages. I lost count. I got at least 1 more this evening, and numerous hangups on our voicemail. I'm guessing the hangups are people calling to listen to our outgoing message to see if (a) we are open next week and (b) we mention giving out turkeys (we are not).
One voicemail was from our senior pastor. He had gotten in the loop on the temporarily homeless couple I have been working with over the past week. He wanted to hear more about their story. It was a nice chat about a variety of issues, both pertaining to these folks and to general operating practices. He approved a substantial gift to get them on the road.
To follow up on that, I spoke with our finance administrator for a bit, and then had to borrow a staff church credit card to run up the street to buy gift cards.
Tomorrow, on the day I try to always stick to as my day off, I will have to go get the cash the pastor wants to share with them because the way the office is staffed on Friday I will not be able to get it. The theme of today (and now tomorrow) seems to be that sometimes the simple things just get really complicated.
I called the man from Vermont that we are trying to get home. We had a really frank discussion. I let him know the good news that they would hopefully be home by the weekend, along with some extra funds for food and sundry items to help them on their journey. We talked about scams. I told him all the ways I had worked to verify his story. They are either entirely sincere and we really need to help them out of this mess, or they are excellent cons. I have found nothing that suggests the latter, so we are going with the former, but what they do from here is out of my hands. He seemed to appreciate my honesty. I think that's a good sign. I also reminded him, just in case the latter were true, that I would undoubtedly hear if they were still in town a few days from now.
I am sincerely glad our church stepped up on this one. He said they had been to countless churches in the area asking for help. They have a journal with all the places they have been and asked so they could keep track. He said most said "no," and he knew as soon as he left the building they would never think about them again. He was touched that our church not only didn't start with a no - even though we gave them a "wait and see" - but so that he knew that ever since he met our administrative assistant last week and talked to me on the phone that they were being cared about. He knew we were thinking of him, even if we weren't getting him home. I told him about how many different people had asked how they were doing after I shared their story, and how they really were in people's prayers, hearts, and minds. That's the whole point.
Money, food, whatever.
We genuinely cared about this couple, and they got it.
So, moving on from that.....I got a call from a gentleman (well, 2 calls actually) who can't drive. His daughter picks up food for him, so call #1 was about leaving out some food at the welcome desk for tomorrow. Call #2 was about an ongoing issue with his power bill that he is actively trying to resolve. He originally called asking for assistance, which I'm sure meant he was hoping we would help pay the bill. Well, that's not how this works. I went over some options with him, called Dominion on his behalf, and got him started on a process to get an extension so he could pay his bill. He is very on board with this process, but I think he was feeling a little lost and confused in it today so he called to see if I had some answers. I don't. I told him to call Dominion tomorrow.
Despite that, he was so gracious. He said he has attended several churches that talk about how much money they have but don't reach out. He was so grateful that he found in us a church that is actually willing to do something to help people in the community. Note that we have given him no money, just a few bags of food. We have not resolved his power bill issued.
He was grateful that I listened, that I tried, and that a represent a church that supports a ministry where sometimes that's all we give.
We cared, and he got it.
So, really, I think when I sat down to write this post I wanted to gripe a bit about the long day that wasn't supposed to be. But what a picture of how good God is.
What a day.
On the one hand, we are in a remarkable season where it seems God is moving and growing and changing things in some ways that will come out great on the other side. I feel like we've been through this cycle before, and that overall God is molding this ministry incrementally.
That said, this is the time in the process where things feel like they are moving very quickly, and a lot happens at once.
So, today.....
I had an appointment after work today for 1 guest who was at work during our normal hours. I tidied up a bit, got her paperwork ready, and had the stage all set for a smooth and quick appointment.
While I was waiting for her, a group of 3 ladies just showed up thinking we were open. If I hadn't been there, they would have been turned away by someone else and asked to call me or return next Tuesday. But since I was right there, with the pantry open, I felt like I needed to help them.
Turns out, they just ran into someone in public who told them we were open today. I don't even know what caused them to have that conversation. We used to be open on Wednesdays, but changed that this summer, so I assume the person talking to them had old information. Still, these same ladies had just visited us on a Tuesday a few weeks ago. I remember there were some issues with them at that time. Sadly, not everyone we work with makes it easy. That doesn't mean they don't need our help, and it doesn't mean that we should not show them grace. It does mean that to be good stewards of the gifts we have to share we have to be a bit more vigilant with some people. I don't enjoy that. As it is, these folks did not provide all the required address verifications that we ask for, though we do usually give people 2-3 visits to produce this information. It's all about grace. I strongly suspect that at least 1 or 2 of the 3 are lying to me about their address and living situation in an attempt to get more food. (I suspect they live together and are claiming 2 households. That happens.) I am hopeful that spending one on one time with them will inspire their future honesty with us. It's hard to catch things when we are super busy, and it's hard to have uninterrupted conversations.
So that added a good chunk of time on to that portion of my day, and left me fairly frustrated.
During the course of the morning and afternoon as I was at work and seeing these appointments, I got at least 4-5 phone messages. I lost count. I got at least 1 more this evening, and numerous hangups on our voicemail. I'm guessing the hangups are people calling to listen to our outgoing message to see if (a) we are open next week and (b) we mention giving out turkeys (we are not).
One voicemail was from our senior pastor. He had gotten in the loop on the temporarily homeless couple I have been working with over the past week. He wanted to hear more about their story. It was a nice chat about a variety of issues, both pertaining to these folks and to general operating practices. He approved a substantial gift to get them on the road.
To follow up on that, I spoke with our finance administrator for a bit, and then had to borrow a staff church credit card to run up the street to buy gift cards.
Tomorrow, on the day I try to always stick to as my day off, I will have to go get the cash the pastor wants to share with them because the way the office is staffed on Friday I will not be able to get it. The theme of today (and now tomorrow) seems to be that sometimes the simple things just get really complicated.
I called the man from Vermont that we are trying to get home. We had a really frank discussion. I let him know the good news that they would hopefully be home by the weekend, along with some extra funds for food and sundry items to help them on their journey. We talked about scams. I told him all the ways I had worked to verify his story. They are either entirely sincere and we really need to help them out of this mess, or they are excellent cons. I have found nothing that suggests the latter, so we are going with the former, but what they do from here is out of my hands. He seemed to appreciate my honesty. I think that's a good sign. I also reminded him, just in case the latter were true, that I would undoubtedly hear if they were still in town a few days from now.
I am sincerely glad our church stepped up on this one. He said they had been to countless churches in the area asking for help. They have a journal with all the places they have been and asked so they could keep track. He said most said "no," and he knew as soon as he left the building they would never think about them again. He was touched that our church not only didn't start with a no - even though we gave them a "wait and see" - but so that he knew that ever since he met our administrative assistant last week and talked to me on the phone that they were being cared about. He knew we were thinking of him, even if we weren't getting him home. I told him about how many different people had asked how they were doing after I shared their story, and how they really were in people's prayers, hearts, and minds. That's the whole point.
Money, food, whatever.
We genuinely cared about this couple, and they got it.
So, moving on from that.....I got a call from a gentleman (well, 2 calls actually) who can't drive. His daughter picks up food for him, so call #1 was about leaving out some food at the welcome desk for tomorrow. Call #2 was about an ongoing issue with his power bill that he is actively trying to resolve. He originally called asking for assistance, which I'm sure meant he was hoping we would help pay the bill. Well, that's not how this works. I went over some options with him, called Dominion on his behalf, and got him started on a process to get an extension so he could pay his bill. He is very on board with this process, but I think he was feeling a little lost and confused in it today so he called to see if I had some answers. I don't. I told him to call Dominion tomorrow.
Despite that, he was so gracious. He said he has attended several churches that talk about how much money they have but don't reach out. He was so grateful that he found in us a church that is actually willing to do something to help people in the community. Note that we have given him no money, just a few bags of food. We have not resolved his power bill issued.
He was grateful that I listened, that I tried, and that a represent a church that supports a ministry where sometimes that's all we give.
We cared, and he got it.
So, really, I think when I sat down to write this post I wanted to gripe a bit about the long day that wasn't supposed to be. But what a picture of how good God is.
What a day.
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