Change

That title probably got your attention.
We tend to have strong feelings about change, don't we?
Raise your hand if you have ever said "I hate change."

Guilty.  Very guilty.

In ministry, resistance to change is a major hurdle.  Attitudes like "we do it this way," "we always," "we never" grow like Virginia creeper around the foundation of a ministry.

1. "Sticky, disk-like appendages on its tendrils adhere to wall siding, making it difficult to remove. Removal could, in fact, cause damage to the wall. So do not grow this plant on walls unless you wish it to be permanent!"

Sticky. Difficult. Damaging. 

We have to take a hard look at our attitudes about change, particularly as it relates to our food pantries and other ministries, and be mindful of how we plant and prune.  

As a leader, it's important to not only to invite change, but also to build comfort around it with those you walk alongside. 

Even though this blog has been silent for awhile, there has been plenty going on in our ministry. Much has changed.   In the dreaming and planning stages, it seemed too hard to write about because God was still holding some of the details in His hands.

It's time to share now. 

In January 2016, I was given the opportunity to do this job as a part-time staff position.  This has opened the door for me to dig deeper, connect with the rest of the church staff, and take this ministry in the direction I feel God is calling it.  (See this post from 2015 about why I feel paid positions are important in this type of work.)

I had known for some time that our pantry (like any pantry following traditional models) was missing the mark.  Books like Toxic Charity  and When Helping Hurts point to issues we have been facing:  dependency, entitlement, and a lack of positive change in the lives of those we work with.  

Earlier this year, I learned we would have a relatively minor change in our physical space beginning this fall.  There were ways we could have adapted to this while keeping everything mostly the same.  It could have been simple.  Yet, it felt very clear to me that we weren't just being called to adapt to this one thing.  

We were being called to CHANGE.

I had a brainstorming session with a wise friend and God had put some of the same ideas on both of our hearts.  It's hard to explain the calm about all of this I've had because He made it so clear, beginning in this meeting, that this was what we were to do.  While there has certainly been work to make this happen, it has felt somewhat effortless.  

(If you've never let God drive a process before, I highly recommend it!  Once you get over that scary leap into trust, it's a great ride.)

I spent some time getting feedback from volunteers and others, and spent time calming fears and anxieties about change.

A group of volunteers and supporters who were willing to trust and try has made a tremendous difference.

So what changed?  

* We closed our Dollar Shop.  

I loved this concept, and in some ways it worked very well.  But over the past year, it had become burdensome.  We no longer had a dedicated leader for that ministry.  The donations got overwhelming.  There were issues with a couple of people abusing the system.

It took a volunteer at an early meeting to say what I was thinking.  I was afraid to close it. He showed me it was okay, and others supported this decision.

There is a fabulous clothing closet here in town, less than 2 miles away, where we now can send donors and those in need.

* We are launching a new Wednesday night program called The Dinner Table.  

While on the surface it may not seem to have much to do with the food pantry, it's roots were in that first conversation with my friend.  

I'll share more about this in a future post.

* We have moved to an appointment only system.  

Everyone has a 10 minute appointment for a talk with a pantry leader before going to select food with another volunteer in the pantry.

I know my friends who run food pantries are wondering if I've lost my mind.  Maybe.  But it seems to be working.  

We are fortunate that there are other traditional pantries in our geographic area to give us a safety net for doing this.  Those food recipients who are not willing to embrace the new system have other options.  We don't have to fear someone going without.

Look for future posts about the logistics of this.

Meanwhile, after 1 week open in this new system, it feels like we're on track.   I got this thoughtful feedback from the person who had our very first appointment:

"For several reasons, my recent appointment under the new pantry procedure was a great experience: 
I - More space, more privacy (for prayer requests), more personalized attention 
II- It is still and it is peaceful
III - I did not feel anxious to arrive (my place on the sign-in sheet)
IV- No congestion in the food area, saved time making selections. Food spaced out nicely. Easier to see variety of food items
V - Volunteers never rushed me but I pressured myself to make selections quickly because I didn't want to hold up others behind me [in the old system]
VI- Wait time reduced dramatically"

Change is good ya'll.  Seriously.

Stay tuned.

Squiggly stories

I like linear, tidy stories.  I like it when conflict is wrapped up by the end of the book. The most dreaded words on 70s TV shows were "To Be Continued."  (For all you young folks:  That was before TIVO, Netflix, and binge watching.  You literally had to wait a whole week to get the rest of the story.)

In ministry such as this, it is especially valuable to have "happy ending" stories where we can communicate someone's journey (and our role in it) with a sense of clarity and closure.  I am often called on to share such stories when I speak.  They're valuable for fundraising and recruitment.  While it might not be measurable, personal success is an outcome.

Unfortunately, more often than not, people's stories are indefinitely "to be continued."  They are squiggly and muddy and open-ended. I don't always know the beginning, the story seems trapped somewhere in the middle, and the end is nowhere in sight.

But it's okay.  I have to accept that it's okay.  It is what it is.

It's not our job to straighten out the plot.  It's our job to come alongside the main characters and try to support them through the chapter they're in.

Peggy and Manda are a mother and adult daughter who have been coming to us off and on for about 2 years now.  Peggy is in her mid-50s, and Manda is in her mid-30s.  Manda has 3 children, the oldest of whom is in high school and lives with Peggy.  

They are both lovely people.

Manda hasn't been in since last year, but I remember her as a pleasant, upbeat person.  

While I don't know the beginning of the story, it seems apparent that Manda has made some bad choices, but Peggy has stood by her side. 

Peggy is a hard worker.  She had been working a fast food job when we saw her last year.  We hadn't seen her for many months because she had gotten a better job working in a doctor's office.

A few weeks ago, Peggy came back to see us again.  Her daughter's choices are causing financial strain for them both.  She shared that Manda and her boyfriend have been involved in drugs.  They have both been to jail.  They have wrecked several vehicles.  She asked for our prayers for Manda to turn things around.

Last Tuesday, Peggy came back.  She said that her neighbor is a police officer.  He gave Manda the courtesy of telling her that there was an outstanding warrant for her arrest.  That morning, Peggy dropped the grandkids off at their schools and then dropped her daughter off at the police station to turn herself in.  The kids were understandably upset that mom was going back to jail. 

Peggy was frustrated that the first trip to jail did not knock some sense into her daughter.  She seemed to want to talk about it and not all at the same time, so we offered her some encouragement and let it go at that.

Wednesday, our intern Sarah and I made a visit to the school where we send backpack food supplements for 11 at-risk kids.  The guidance counselor shared with us the story of one of the kindergarten students who told his teacher how thankful he was that they didn't let him go hungry on the weekends.  

The counselor cannot share details on these children with me.  We were talking in general about these kids, and she shared about the life this little boy was leading and I suddenly realized we were talking about Manda's youngest son.  (The other child in her custody is in middle school.)  I shared Peggy's story, and while she can neither confirm nor deny this is the same family, it's pretty obvious.  We live in the suburbs.  Having mom being dropped off at prison is not an everyday occurrence for most of these kids.

I learned that Manda, her boyfriend, and the boys have been living in a hotel room all school year.  The school is hoping they don't move out of area so this little boy can stay with them next year so they can continue to look out for him.  

On Sunday, a friend of mine at church approached me. She is this little boy's kindergarten teacher.  She wanted to share how valuable our support has been for him.  She says he doesn't like to leave school because he is so happy there and he always knows he will eat.

So where does our story end?  Manda's in jail.  I'm not sure if the boys are with Peggy or the boyfriend or some combination.  School will be out soon.  It's not looking hopeful at the moment.  

To Be Continued.

We will continue to walk with Peggy, and pray with her that the next chapter is a better one.

Snakes and doves

Matthew 10:16 says we should be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves.

That's a tough row to hoe sometimes.

But sometimes, in this type of ministry, it has to be one of our guiding principles. I always say it's only 5% of people we have to worry about.  (That's just a guess, not a hard fact.)  That's in any crowd, not just the food pantry waiting room.

I like people to be happy.  I seek to avoid conflict.   I'd always rather be a dove.

It wasn't one of those week.

Last November, I wrote a series on a week in the life of a food pantry leader.  If I had written that this week, it would have been fodder for reality TV.  Or a sitcom.

In many ways, we are in a great season of growth and change.  Volunteers have been working diligently to get a computer system up and running for us.  We served record numbers of people in September, many of them new, without undue stress. We've had great conversations with those in need and others our community. We have witnessed as some people have found hope.  We have been given the opportunity to share many Bibles with adults, teens, and kids.

Kindness, goodness, and God have played a big part in this week.

 I sincerely am blessed to be doing this.

So I hope this doesn't come across as whining and complaining.  I think it is important, though, to pull back the curtain sometimes.  I don't think most people would believe the goodness I talk about that I see in people if I disregarded the rest.

It was a challenging week at our food pantry.  This is not the norm.

My friend Gretchen runs a sister pantry in town.  She was the victim of a "serial scammer" this week.  He lied and stole from her pantry, even after being given food.  It wasn't the relatively small loss of food, but the sense of violation that he left in his wake. He doesn't know the time and effort she put into that food he stole.  It hurts my heart for her, because I know how much she invests of herself in her ministry.

On Tuesday, during our open hours,  I was challenged.

We had a family bring in a child who seemed to fairly obviously have chicken pox.  On the one hand, I am praising God that this child was with his dad.  He has fought for custody for years because of the bad environment the kid was living in with his mother.  On the other hand, I have other guests to worry about too.
They came in with friends, all people who are lovely in their own right and known to us.  But it took awhile to get them to admit that they were unsure what was wrong with him and they were't actually certain he wasn't contagious. I think they were afraid we would send them away without food if we thought he was contagious.
By the time I got that sorted out, he had been in our waiting room for over 15 minutes.  We moved them out a bit farther away from folks.  Some volunteers offered advice about where to take the child, since they could not afford the copay most places.  They were worried about him, as am I.  But I am also worried about the many guests we have with compromised immune systems who were in that waiting room.
It was a hard call between being kind to this family (and not making the kid feel, literally, like a leper), and taking care of everyone else.


Shortly after, we had another couple come who we see fairly regularly.
Nice people.
Usually.
They talked to me about their 2 year old grandson and got some books for him.
They usually remember to bring their own bags. Since I never remember things like that, it always makes me happy to see that they do.
There are serious health and pain management problems for both of them.  There may be substance abuse issues, but that's just a guess.
They were in the waiting room later, when only 2 new young ladies with a toddler were there.  I was in and out of the room.  I didn't hear what happened.  But these young ladies quickly asked how much longer they had to wait because the husband of this couple  was speaking in a way that was offensive and making them uncomfortable.
I went to run this past my co-leader, and she said another week (when I was out), a similar instance happened with a volunteer.
I felt like I had to speak to him.  I planned to make it light, a "try to watch the language" suggestion.  Did I mention I don't like confrontation?  I admitted to him that I hadn't heard it first hand, but I had 2 separate reports from 2 different weeks,  and so I felt I needed to let him know.  His wife suggested maybe someone had misunderstood something.  (After I heard what was said directly to this volunteer, I know this is not the case.)  I agreed, and said maybe just be cautious if speaking about things that could be misunderstood.

He went ballistic.
He threatened to call the media on us.
I suggested he do just that, because we would welcome the chance to share the story of our ministry in a public forum.
By the way, did I mention that I don't get paid to do this and I will not be verbally abused and you're welcome for the free food.  (Okay, I probably said it more nicely than that, but that's what I thought. But mostly that's what I said.)
It wasn't my finest moment.

Perhaps my failing was less in that grace-less response, and more  that I was too much of a dove in approaching this situation and not enough of a snake.
Later, when I talked to the previously offended volunteer, we had a great conversation about root causes and the types of pain this family might be going through. There is room for grace here.  But next time, I also need to approach him with more shrewdness.

Oh, and while I'm dealing with chicken pox and offensive language and being yelled at and managing a pretty big crowd....someone stole from our Dollar Shop.  It was just t-shirts.  Quite a few t-shirts.  I would have given them away anyway if someone asked.  But really, why not just ask?   It wasn't the loss of the items.  That was no big deal at all.  It was the violation.

And yet, in all of that, I have been called to remember why we do this.

GRACE.

I have plenty of rotten, awful moments.  I am not perfect.  (Refer back to the conversation I had with  my yelling friend.)
God still loves me.  God still gave his son for me, and continues to give to me in big and small ways all the time.  I cannot loose His love, even in my worst moments.

My prayer is that God will help us demonstrate this type of love to our neighbors.
We need to welcome back the people who frustrate us, the people who steal, and lie, and treat us poorly, and yell.
I think we do these things to God all the time.  He always welcomes us back.

We not only need to allow them to come back, we need to invite them.  We need to have our arms open for hugs, and words of sincere kindness and forgiveness on our lips.

We need......I need..... God's grace to do this.

If you pray for our ministry this week, pray that we be filled with grace-filled love.




By the way, wondering how we know if someone is being honest?  Visit this post.

The Dollar Shop: Why we charge for clothing

This week, it was brought to my attention that there was an online discussion about the fact that we charge for clothing.

Wow!  People are noticing us.

Of course, the more people notice the more I want to be publicly transparent about our operating procedures.

We offer food, books, Bibles, and assorted random items for free.  (Random things could include paper products, toiletries, school supplies, small toys, and most recently Christian CDs and DVDs and lots of educational "My Plate" plates.)

We charge for clothing.  Usually.

Our clothing closet, called The Dollar Shop, is a small area in one corner of our pantry that most highly exemplifies the "us" concept, and the spirit of empowerment and individual development that we strive for.

Anyone can donate.  Anyone can shop.   This includes church attenders, those receiving help from the food pantry, and unchurched community members looking for a place to plug in.

When someone receiving help from the pantry is seeking a tangible way to give back, this is a simple and direct path for them to do so.  They bring in things the kids have outgrown or that they no longer wear, and know those donations can turn into extra funding to support our programs.
When someone shops, they can get a great bargain and know their dollars matter.

We regularly have folks find suits, dresses, coats, shoes, and every day wear for $1 an item.  Those who shop are proud of their purchases.

I'm pretty proud of the $1 Nikes I picked up.  One of the dear ladies who uses our pantry tried them on first, we compared sizes, and when they didn't fit her, she had me try them on.  I have funky to fit feet, so we were both delighted (and surprised) that they fit me. I really needed some new shoes and was waiting until I had the extra funds, so we talked about how God provided.  It wasn't just the bargain and the much needed shoes, but that little piece of community in the transaction that made me so happy.

On the other hand, this is still a charitable clothing closet when it needs to be.  We want people to be warm in the winter.  We want their kids to have clothes for school.  We want them to have clothes for work.  If there is an emergency need, we give away what we have, and often solicit additional donations in needed sizes.
For example, we are currently collecting polo shirts, khakis, and black pants to benefit students at an area alternative high school.  We have helped families after fires.  We have helped get kids clothes for back to school.  We have provided for a senior who lost her clothing in an eviction.

We also give things that have been hanging around in The Dollar Shop too long.  The ladies who run this part of our ministry are getting ready to switch out clothes for the season, and all of the summer stuff will be given away for free.  (It's still warm in Virginia, so the free short sleeve shirts will still get wear for awhile.)

We don't make a fortune out of this.  I would think a good month brings us $30 in profits.   It does not financially sustain us.  That's not the point.

The Dollar Shop makes people happy.  The thrill of the hunt for a bargain is great.  The satisfaction in giving and working together is what we're all about.

Where does the food come from?

During our leadership restructuring, I spent some time talking to a potential volunteer about how we source food.  It was another one of those times where I realized that things I take for granted are a mystery to those outside of the system.

So, how does our  pantry get food?

(I can only speak for how we do things.  Other pantries are undoubtedly different, which may be determined by location, affiliation, and size among other factors.)

There are 5 primary ways we get food.

1. Regular direct donations
We are a church based pantry, so church members and community members who use our building drop donations off each week.
This is the area where we would most like to grow, but currently lack someone to organize the effort.
In a typical week, this is probably no more than 5% off the food we distribute.

2. Food Drives 
This is when businesses, scout troops, community organizations, and church groups collect a large amount of food in a short period of time.  We have even had children do food drives at birthday parties.
The majority of this happens for us during the months of November and December.
This past year, we were incredibly blessed by several large food drives.  We had to expand into another storage room to accommodate the overflow, which was great. We have given that food away conservatively, knowing that we will not see such abundance again until next November.   It is the first week of March, and we have now come to the end of our holiday donations.

I would loosely place one time corporate donations in this category as well.  We had a volunteer organize a 4,000 pound donation from Campbell's soup for us last fall.  It required a bit of leg work on our part in terms of getting a driver, a truck, and volunteers to unload a truck after midnight, but it was a great blessing.  Half the donation was soup, and the other half was juice, juice drinks, and spaghetti sauce.  We have been distributing food from this donation since November, and likely will make it through March before running out.  This was really a once in a lifetime opportunity.


3. Foodbank
We are partners with the Central Virginia Foodbank, which is part of Feeding America.
Most of the year, we get around 50% - 75% of the food we distribute this way.
We pay a "shared maintenance fee" based on the amount of food we withdraw, as well as an annual membership fee. The foodbank uses these funds to pay for staff, utilities, facility costs, trucking, insurance, administrative fees (like postage and printing), etc.
Usually, food is 19cents per pound to us.  Some foods are less expensive, and on occasion, there will be some free items.  Sometimes, food the foodbank has to purchase to fill in nutritional gaps is more expensive to us (think wholesale pricing).
There are some great things about using a foodbank, not the least of which is that we can get a lot of food  inexpensively.
There are some drawbacks.  Selection and quality are variable and unreliable. Long trainings are required, and only a limited number of shoppers are allowed per agency, so a small number of us shoulder the burden of shopping.  Shopping trips require a regular appointment (which is hard when our shoppers all have different schedules).  Shopping, loading the van, unloading the van, hauling the food into the pantry, cleaning it, and putting it all away is a long day's work.  We invest a lot of time into obtaining food from the foodbank, which is time we can't invest in other areas of ministry.

4. Food Rescue
We literally save food from the garbage.  We have just really gotten into this over the past year, but I know some agencies do this to a much larger extent.
I have a neighbor who volunteers at a local school lunchroom, and rescues unopened milks, yogurts, juices, etc. and brings them to me a few days per week.
We have a volunteer who is connected with another community volunteer in bread rescue.  The community volunteer goes to a local commercial bakery 5 mornings per week to rescue bread overruns and distributes those to various agencies around town.  Our volunteer get over 100 loaves of bread from him once per week.
We are also members of Food Donation Connection, which is a national organization focusing on food rescue.  They work with a number of large chains.  We specifically are partnered with a  WaWa and a Chipotle.  WaWa donates their leftover hot foods (breakfast sandwiches, hot dogs, pretzels, hashbrowns, etc.)  Instead of throwing them away at the end of the time they are allowed to keep them hot, they deep freeze them.  We pick up 4 days per week and distribute the items frozen. This usually fills one large upright freezer each week.  Most weeks we receive about 400 food items.   We pick up from Chipotle 2 days per week, and receive their leftover meats from the past 2 days, which have been bagged and labelled for us. We get anywhere from 10-20 pounds of meat a week this way.
Food rescue is awesome.  Food Donation Connection provides online and printed training, which makes life easy.  We pick up in insulated bags, which they provide, and are required to sign for the donations online which is a simple process.  It costs us nothing, saves waste, and provides a lot of food.
The biggest drawback is that it does require a lot of volunteer hours.  I have a number of people going to 2 different locations on different days and times, and coordinating the effort does take a bit of work.


5. Purchasing retail

There are really two ways this works for us.
We have one volunteer who will scout for great sales and acquire cases of pantry staples this way.
We also will use the grocery store as an emergency back up to fill major holes in our inventory.



What does this mean for donors?  Donate thoughtfully.  Take the time to see how your local pantry sources food and how your donation can make the most impact.  (See more tips for donors here.)


Does your pantry have innovative ways you keep food on the shelves?  Leave a comment!

Food Pantry Utopia

Pretty soon, I will return this blog to the practical information some of you are looking for.  (I actually have a post in the works about how we source our food.  Stay tuned for that.)

Lately, however, I have had to contemplate what our pantry should look.  We are in the midst of restructuring our leadership team.   Mainly, I am trying to farm out chunks of the jobs my partner and I do to lessen our time commitments.  When we started this endeavor, we were serving less than 10 families each week.  We are now averaging close to 40 every week, and we've been on a upswing since October.  So, in the name of sustainable ministry and sustainable personal commitments, we are restructuring.

Today, as I was thinking over possible ways to divide the labor, I realized how little time is actually currently spent doing what we need to be doing.  Honestly, the typical volunteer led pantry such as ours simply does not have enough time, or enough committed and trained volunteers, to make such a vision happen.
Our time is largely spent in food acquisition, volunteer recruitment and retention, and administration. We carve out what time we can for relationship building, but there just isn't enough time to do it adequately.

In an ideal food pantry, here's what I would like to see:


Paid leadership
We are human.  Unpaid ministry is distinct calling and a spiritual discipline.  It is also very hard to maintain and easy to walk away from.  Paying at least one full time ministry leader, if not also one or two part time support staff members, will help keep leadership consistent.  People won't leave for need of money, and they will also have a better sense of their value, authority, and leadership.  These attributes will help with some of the tougher stuff when it comes to counseling and advocacy.  (And speaking of the tough stuff, if you pay someone to lead a ministry, you also can be more highly selective in finding a leader. You can expect certain skills and a level of education and experience to make these things happen.)
This wouldn't necessarily be a full time food pantry focused position, but perhaps a community minister, neighborhood advocate, or some other more encompassing position.


Relationship Building
Our pantry works in this arena, but certainly has much room to improve.
Learning why someone is coming to the pantry, and understanding root causes, is the first step in moving them out of the system and into a more sustainable place.


Focused Individual Development
Once root causes are determined, have resources in place to help someone turn their situation around.  There is no one size fits all program.  It might include financial counseling, job skills training, nutritional counselling, life skill coaching, etc..  It might involve some personal and spiritual counseling to help face the brokenness that lots of people we meet carry around, and that gets in their way of moving forward.
While your paid leader should be expected to have expertise in one or more of these areas to make this happen, they can't do it all.  Meaningful connections with professionals and experts are needed.


Volunteer and Job Opportunities
This is a natural extension of focused individual development.  Once someone is known, finding their place in making the system work is key.  If there are paid assistant jobs, trying to fill them with those who came through the pantry is ideal.
Eventually, your team should be filled out with a variety of current and former food pantry recipients.
Not only do they bring a different perspective to the process, but the appreciate the importance of keeping things going.  For those who need it, this also offers a chance for some skill development and resume building.
A couple of our key volunteers are also food recipients.  The best part of this is that they not only understand the system a different way, but know some of the people in line from a different angle. They can help us catch things (both good and bad) that we might otherwise miss.


Advocacy
If someone comes to a pantry, it's a flag to deeper issues.
Focused individual development will address those issues which are personal.
However, there are many causes which are societal.  For most people, there will be a combination of these two things, though the balance between the two may be different.
If you see patterns of issues that affect multiple guests, it's time organize with them and act.
Is there a lack of public transportation, keeping people from reaching better paying jobs?   Create a group of those affected and work together to advocate for change.
Is there one employer from whom you see many pantry guests?  Can you help gather employees along with a representative from your agency to talk to management and negotiate better wages?
Personally, right now my gut is telling me that our SSDI system has some deep systemic problems that are keeping people in poverty.  I have neither the skills nor time to address this. Higher level government advocacy and problem solving are sometimes needed.


Ongoing connection
The goal is to work with people so they can move out of this system, but it isn't to kick them out of the door so you never see them again.  If the relationship building part worked well, both sides will be invested enough to want to stay in relationship.
This is going to look different for every person.  Perhaps they will speak to groups about their experience.  Perhaps they will work with you in administration.  They may want to lead food drives at their place of business.  They might just want to meet you for a monthly cup of coffee, or be Facebook friends, or have an occasional phone chat.
Not only is this great for the individuals involved, but it also builds a large network of folks who care about your ministry and who might be available to help the next person along.



It would be a big, messy system that wouldn't fit neatly in anyone's box.  It would need to be led with flexibility, discernment, and wisdom.

For now, trying to lay a sustainable and balanced foundation is going to have to suffice for us.

I live here too.

Back in November, a young man came to my door soliciting sales for a home improvement company.   I normally get irritated by door-to-door solicitors, particularly since I seem to get one from this company "doing work in my neighborhood" on a regular basis.  But he was friendly, so I stood on the porch to chat for a few minutes.

He was trying to make enough money doing this job to get his son everything he asked for for Christmas.  He was so proud of his son for doing well in school, and thought he deserved the gifts. He also wanted his son to see his dad working hard like this so he might make different choices and do better for himself.  He talked about how no matter what, God is good, and it was all going to work out fine.

I told him that honestly, as much as we might need it, home repairs just weren't in our budget.  I told him that if I won the lottery I would totally give him a call to set up an appointment.

"I live here too," he said with a nod.

He didn't mean he lives in my neighborhood, or even in my part of town.  What he was saying, in direct and simple eloquence was "I get it. Me too."  In that one simple phrase, there was just a beautiful us-ness.

I live here too.

He gave me a great way of re-framing a ministry problem I have been grappling with for awhile now.

For the past couple of years I have been learning about asset based community development and Christian community development.     I have read books such as Toxic Charity and When Helping Hurts 
(If you want to learn more, I highly recommend checking out Wendy McCaig's blog and Aaron Lee's series on Toxic Charity.)

These ideas excite me.  They make so much sense!

And yet....they don't exactly fit our ministry model and the population with whom we work.

You know that pair of  jeans in your closet that you just can't get rid of?  They look good on the hanger, they're soft, they would look great with your favorite sweater.  Except when you put them on, they aren't quite right. They kind of fit, and they kind of don't.  A belt helps, but something about them bugs you every time you put them on.

That's the way I feel about abcd and our ministry.  I've tried to make it fit. I want it to fit.  It doesn't quite.

Community development is centered around people who are geographically close.  Community (at least in one sense here) is a physical concept.

Our food pantry and related ministries serve a suburban population.  Many people who come to us are the only person on their block or in their neighborhood in financial need.  Some live in low income pockets clumped together, while others live in affluent areas where they are still living in the same house they had since before the bottom fell out.  Some people we see are seniors living in assisted living homes.  We've had a few people living in cars, hotels, on friends couches.   They are not bound by geography the way traditional community development sees it.

A movement within community development is "moving into the neighborhood."  Instead of driving from your home in place "x" to "y" every day to work with a community from afar, you move in and become a neighbor.  You develop the "us" by becoming geographically close so you can understand each other, and this community, better.

But how do I move into a neighborhood when there isn't one?  Where would I move to be closer to the people I work with?  Some of them already live in my neighborhood, but many others don't.

I live here too.

Such a simple concept.   A place to start.

The neighborhood we inhabit with those we work with is more than geography.
 
For those of us in suburban ministry, we need to be willing to metaphorically move into the neighborhood.  We might need to sacrifice our material comfort (which frankly should be easy for many of us since pantry leaders tend to work for free).  Our choices might need to look more like the choices our neighbors in need make than the ones our more affluent neighbors make.  It might affect our home, or clothes, our car, our vacations.  We might need to reexamine our material priorities.
We need to not only get to know those we work with personally, but invite them to labor alongside of us. We need to break bread together.  We need to share information and resources with each other.  We need to develop a different type of community while also nurturing individual development.


If you work in suburban ministry, I would love to hear from you about how this looks in your neighborhood.  Leave a comment and lets start a conversation.

Tips for First Time Food Pantry Visitors

I received a call yesterday from someone who is looking for food assistance for the first time.  It can be scary, and overwhelming, and downright humiliating.

(If you find yourself in need for the first time, you may also find this post helpful.)

Tips for your first visit

* Call ahead.  Try to find out as much as possible about the pantry you will be visiting before you go.  Check out their website, call and listen to their outgoing message, and/or try to speak to someone directly (though the last one is tricky since most pantries are volunteer run).
What paperwork do they require?  Should you line up early or is it better to come later?
Are there restrictions?  (This last one is a big one. I have heard of folks standing in line for an hour for a local pantry who were turned away at the door because they did not live in the right county.  Ask first.)

* Take ID and a current utility bill displaying your address with you.   Some pantries require more, but this is likely the least you will need.  Make sure the address on each matches the address on your paperwork.  If you have moved and not gotten an update ID, call the DMV for an official (free) change of address card.
If you are homeless (even living in someone else's home), check with the pantry on their policies.
If you have time and ability to do so, make a folder with birth certificates, current bills, pay stubs, etc. to expedite the process in case you are applying somewhere that needs more documentation.

* Prepare for a wait.  Just allow yourself at least an hour or two buffer until you know how the system works.  Even then, during busy seasons (usually summer and holidays) the wait can be longer than you expect.
If you have to squeeze it in on your lunch hour or before a doctor's appointment, try to call ahead and ask the pantry for advice.


* Try to find a sitter.   It is better to get the lay of the land on your first visit without your kids with you if at all possible.  Alternatively, take someone with you whose sole purpose is to help watch your kid.
Pantries are often full of shelves of stuff, and not safe places for kids to wander. Have someone directly supervise your child(ren) every minute if they must go with you for their own safety and the safety of others in the area.  This is also a courtesy to other pantry guests and volunteers.
Take things for your kids to do while they wait.  Things that are quiet and self contained are best:  books, paper and crayons, etc.

* Take your own bags.  You may not need to use them, but for pantries like ours it's always a blessing to save a few bags.

* Look for friendly faces and ask questions.  Whether it's another person in line or a volunteer, it's fine to let people know it's your first time and ask how things work.


* Prepare to become a creative cook.  Prepare your family to try new foods.  You will likely not receive items your family is used to eating.   Which leads directly to......

* Look for alternative sources of protein and ways to stretch protein.  Most pantries are not equipped to give you much fresh meat.  Beans and nuts are a great source of protein.   Many pantries will have canned meats, especially tuna, so be ready to look for recipes like casseroles and soups that can stretch a small can of meat for your family.



General Information about pantries

* Food selection process will vary based on the pantry.  A "client choice" pantry allows you to pick from a range of items.  Other pantries prepack food and you receive it sight unseen.

* Some of the people in line are "regulars" and may have been to multiple pantries.  They may have good advice for you.  They may also give you erroneous information about the process based on their own biases and sense of authority.  Always double check information with a volunteer / staff member.

* Volunteers are people too.  They may be having a bad day.  They may have been treated poorly by someone else in line, or really be burned out on the process.  It is unfortunate but true that some pantries and the volunteers who run them may make you feel unwelcome, unloved, or ashamed.  Please don't take that personally.  Pray for them, offer them a kind word, and know that they are trying to do a good thing, even if it comes out wrong sometime.
(On the flip side, if you open yourself up to it, you might make great friends with volunteers and other guests.)



Do you have other questions as you are getting ready for your first pantry visit?  Post them here.

How do you know if someone is being honest?

I get this question a lot.  It's often phrased like "How do you know someone really has need?" or "What type of information do you check?"

The simple and short answer is that we don't know if someone is being honest with us or not.  We extend them grace and acceptance, just like God extends to us, and we treat everyone who comes in the same.

Everyone who comes to us has need.  On the surface, everyone is coming for food and other types of material assistance. But we all need grace.  So if someone is coming to us without a sincere need for food, they still have a sincere need for grace and love and we try to demonstrate that.   A couple bags of food is a small price to pay for this opportunity.

Some pantries do an extensive amount of paperwork in an effort to keep people honest.  There is one large local pantry that requires a variety of paperwork (including birth certificates for everyone in your household), a signed referral from a church or other agency, and a waiting period while they check and verify all of your information.  I sign these referrals sometimes, which always generates a phone call to make sure I am a real person who really signed the form and verify the person is in need of assistance.
 I get it.  I really do.  They serve a lot more people than we do.  This is their approach at being fair.

We do check a photo ID and ask for a current piece of mail to verify the address given to us.  We check this about once a year on everyone, and reserve the right to do so more if we think something is going on.  We are lenient about giving folks a few visits to produce this documentation. We are lenient with those who are homeless in terms of verifying an address.   We have a 2 sided form that everyone fills out, which includes a pledge of honesty guests sign.
We have everyone fill out a brand new form about once a year. We go over their form with them every time they come in to make sure their information is correct.

Why don't we do more?

* It requires a large amount of volunteer time and effort to go more in depth with verifying info.  That time could be better spent in more productive relationship building with people.

* If someone is really committed to lying to get some free food, they will work the system no matter how complex.  If this happens, they obviously have some form of real need that should be addressed.

* If the system is too complex, vulnerable people will have barriers to getting assistance they truly need.  Someone who is elderly, illiterate, undereducated, chronically ill, managing a house full of kids, working multiple jobs to make ends meet, non-English speaking, etc. is going to have a hard time completing a pile of paperwork in a timely fashion and may get into a more deeply critical situation.

* It is far better for a person's spirit to assume they are being honest until you have reason to believe otherwise.  Believing the best about someone, especially someone who is going through a hard time, is a great gift.

* It is important to remember it's just "us" and not "us / them."
When I visited this large pantry, it was pretty clear that the staff and volunteers were superior.  This doesn't mean that there weren't some very nice people there.  But it was obvious from the way the application and check in process was run that they wanted to firmly establish the agency's dominance over it's clients.  It made me a little uncomfortable.  People were getting fed, but there was a subtle human cost.
My partner Laura does paperwork, files reports, keeps spreadsheets, etc. It is important to be business like and in control in some respects. We don't ignore this aspect.
However, a big part of how we know someone's level of need is that we try to get to know them.  We have conversations.  We hear their stories.  We laugh together and cry together and pray together. This takes time.                                                                                                                                
 My theory is that the "us-ness" of the way we run things is going to be very hard to stomach for those who might wish to be blatantly dishonest.   Either this approach is going to change their heart, or they are going to go elsewhere for assistance.  It happens, but those people are the minority.

* We've done this awhile.  We aren't naive. People lie.  Chances are, we can figure out pretty quickly when someone is being dishonest with us.  Even with our simple paperwork, Laura has a great mind for picking up when something is "off."
It is almost never because they don't have a true need for food and support.  It is usually centered around who lives in a household, because sometimes people will try to claim to be more households than they are to get more food.  (ie - Multiple adults living under the same roof may try to make up an address.)
A friend once told me that if she were desperate to feed her family, she was sure she would falsify information if it meant she could get more food.  It's dishonest but understandable.  We hope if someone is that desperate they will figure out that they can talk to us and we can see how to dig deeper with them to help improve their situation.  That's why we no longer distribute food based on family size.  We don't want to set up a situation where someone might be tempted into dishonesty out of desperation.
If we have a sense someone is trying to pull one over on us, we generally give them a grace-filled chance to correct it.  Asking someone to clarify something because we are confused or think we may have made a mistake on their paperwork is a good way to create a safe space for honesty.


Matthew 10:16 says we should be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves.  That's where we try to land so that we can openly love on our neighbors while still being good stewards of our resources.

What makes us different?

Grace.

Our response to the grace God extends to us every day is to do the same for others.

Tips for donors: Money or food?

I am often asked whether we prefer donations of money or food.  My answer is both.

Each pantry and foodbank will be different.  In some cases, I suspect that very large pantries and foodbanks could do more with money.  On the flip side, smaller pantries with less man power may really need you to bring food directly to them.  Before you donate, contact the agency you are interested in helping to find their preference.

We are a suburban pantry that serves 20-30 families per week on average.  We are a member of  Feedmore (Central Virginia Foodbank) and therefore Feeding America.

Here's why I like donations of BOTH money and food:

Money

* Most of the year, we do not receive enough donations of food to serve all of our guests.  (November and December during prime food drive season is a little different.)  Money in reserve allows us to shop to fill in the gaps.

* We can sometimes do more with your money than you can.  If we are able to find what we need at Feedmore, we pay only a low shared maintenance cost to withdraw food (usually 19cents per pound).

* Sometimes we have nutritional gaps that need to be filled quickly.   If, for example, we are all out of protein and have some money on hand, we can go to the grocery store to fill in the gaps by shopping sales.  We generally can plan ahead to keep such emergencies from happening, but available funds help in a pinch.

* For some people, being able to give money is just easier.  Some people who really want to support us never would if they had to go shopping.  Making a donation in the offering plate or our church e-giving system is quick and easy, and allows those interested to support us and be involved in a way that fits their lifestyle.

* Sometimes we don't need food.  Sometimes we need supplies to help us acquire and distribute the food.  Since our ministry is more than just a pantry, sometimes we may need funds to support a ministry guest through other means than food.  Having funds allows us flexibility to do these things.


Food

* Direct donations of food save us as volunteers a lot of time and effort.  If you bring the food to us, all we have to do is put it away.  Going to Feedmore requires an appointment and a number of hours for shopping, hauling, unloading, sorting, and stocking.  Going to the grocery store still requires a volunteer to put in extra time to acquire food.  When you give us food, you allow us to use our time in other ways.

* Direct donations of food means we have more variety to share.  We are a client choice pantry, which means guest select their own food within certain parameters.  In our case, it is one item per shelf, and we try to arrange it logically.  Therefore, your can of beets might go on the vegetable shelf with cans of spinach, carrots, and asparagus.  Some of these might be organic, no sodium, vegan, etc..  Our guest can pick the item off that shelf that their family will be most likely to eat that best suits their nutritional needs.  If we shop, we might end up with case after case of green beans, which works fine, but doesn't allow the same nutritional variety.

* Direct donation of food helps prevent food waste.  If you buy a box of oatmeal, eat one pouch and hate it, you can give us the rest (as long as the individual pouches are sealed).  Someone else might like it.  You know that odd can of soup you picked up by accident?  We'll share it.  Don't have room to store that entire case of whatever that you bought at Costco?  Give us your extras.  We even take recently expired food, because most canned items are good for at least a year past date.  (You could eat it yourself, but if you really want to get rid of it, don't throw it out.  Let us check it first.)

* Donating food helps donors feel more connected to the process.  Writing a check can be too easy sometimes.  Our hearts are more engaged if we select the items and think about those who might receive them in the process.  Think about your kid's favorite fruit, or the new healthy item that you love serving your family, and then know another family might appreciate it the same way you do.  If you live alone, you are well suited to shop for items that may eventually go to someone else in a one person household.


Ask before you donate.
Anything you give will be appreciated, but if you want to have the greatest impact, contact the agency you wish to donate to and ask their preference.

If you are in western Henrico and would like to support our pantry with food OR funds, email me at care@gaytonchurch.org.

When you need help: First steps

As a suburban pantry, we often see people who are newly in financial distress.
I have the same conversation about first steps with many people.
If you find yourself in financial distress and are unsure what to do first, here are some ideas for taking a bit of control of your situation.  Depending upon how deep your troubles are, these will certainly not solve your entire problem, but the cumulative effect over time should alleviate some financial strain.

Cut off the cable
I know in our culture this feels like a "need," but it is actually a luxury that can be a fairly large expense.  Yes, your kids will be disappointed.  Yes, you may miss some shows you like.  You will all adapt, and it is a good opportunity to find new hobbies.
However, you do not have to go completely without TV.
Depending upon where you live, you can get a digital receiver or antenna to receive some channels without a monthly cost.  (http://antennatv.tv/free/ is one source of information to help with this process.)
Your local library likely has a large selection of DVDs that you can check out for free, and in larger areas (such as Henrico County, VA where I live) you can get additional titles from other libraries sent to your branch for no charge.  Visit your library to find out how this works.
Also, the occasional splurge for a Redbox movie is far cheaper than a monthly cable bill.
(No DVD player?  Check Goodwill.  Also, if you were to contact my pantry and explain what you were trying to do, I would try to find you a donated used DVD player.  I bet many other agencies would do this as well.)

Cut off the internet
If you have a student, this might be a hardship, so see if you are eligible for Internet Essentials.
Otherwise, home internet is something you can live without.  If you have a laptop that can use WiFi, many public places offer free access.
No computer?  No problem.  Most public libraries have free internet usage.  (In Henrico County, VA, you can use a computer with internet 2 hours per day if you have a free library card.)  Check with your local library for details.
This is an inconvenience, but it is also a huge cost savings.


Minimize your phone bills
Cut off the home phone OR the cell phone.
Whichever phone you keep, check your plan and work to remove any extras and pare your services down to the bare minimum.  You can always add services back when your situation improves.


Work with your power company before it's too late
Call the power company at the first sign you may not be able to pay in full.  You may be able to get an extension or be put on a payment plan.
IF you get an extension or payment plan, DO NOT default on it.  Your power company will not be likely to work with you in the future if you default.
If you have a medical need for electricity (such as a CPAP machine), then check with your power company about a medical extension.  You will need a doctor to complete forms.  This is generally longer than a normal extension.

Apply for free / reduced price meals for your school aged children
First off, this saves on your grocery bill.  Some schools offer breakfast and lunch every day.
For kids who are picky or having a hard time transitioning, you may need to ease them in.  Go over the school menu with them to help determine the days that they will "buy" meals on the program for the week.  You could also send a simple snack (such as a piece of fruit or a granola bar) to go with those first few meals to help add a "touch of home."  The goal would be to eventually have them eating as many meals as are available to them at the school.
Perhaps more importantly, being signed up for the school lunch program will make you eligible for other programs in your area.  Some schools, PTAs, and agencies specifically target families enrolled in this program.

Talk to your children's guidance counselors
Not only can they help you apply for the lunch program, but they can also keep an eye out for your student during this difficult time and help connect you to other services you may need in your area.

Don't wait to apply with Social Services
If you know with certainty your situation is temporary, then you can wait.
Otherwise, contact Social Services in your area right away to see what you are eligible for and begin the application process.  It can sometimes take weeks or months to begin receiving assistance.
SNAP (formerly Food Stamps) is available on a sliding scale.  Even if you are eligible for a small amount of benefits, it is better than nothing.


Other tips?  Feel free to leave a comment.

Guest story: Terry

All guests names, and some identifying details, have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

We met Terry today.  She is a middle age, single, caucasion woman.

Today was the first time she had ever been to a food pantry.
She is a member of a nearby church that supports us with donations.  Someone there told her she should come see us.

She came in near the end of the day.  Laura helped her get her paperwork in order.  While Laura was giving her the introductory tour, she started crying.  I tried to make light, but frankly my jokes just aren't that good, so it didn't seem to help.  I connected her with another volunteer to help her with her shopping, and by the time she was done, she seemed a lot calmer and even cracked a smile.

On the way out we got to chat with her about a mutual friend.   I think that's when the "us-ness" of the situation sank in for her.  I think she came in ready to feel marginalized by the experience.  I hope what she left with was a feeling of inclusion and community.

I walked with her to her car so I could bring the cart back.  She really needed to talk, and I was happy it was the end of the day so we had some time.

She became a single mother when her (now adult) daughter was two, but had managed to buy a home and save some money even in those tough circumstances.  She had to retired early because of a health issue. She had always thought her savings would see her through retirement, but all of those funds are gone now because of medical expenses and she lives from disability check to disability check.  The bills are piling up.

Her mother has dementia and she helps care for her on weekdays.  Our women's and youth ministries recently made "stockings for seniors" for us to distribute, and she was happy to take one of these with her to share with her mother.

On top of all of this, she suffers from depression.

I hope she left with a little bit better off for having met us, and I hope God planted some seeds of comfort in her heart today.

A Week in the Life of Food Pantry Leader - Thursday and Friday

The last half of the week was a bit less eventful than the first.

Mid-day Thursday I got the call that the cash was ready for our friends travelling back to Vermont.  I called them, and we met at the church.  I handed over cash and gift cards, and we had a little chat on the couches.
I finally had a chance to ask about their family, and why no one else was helping them.  A lot of folks we help either are estranged from their families or have families not financially able to help. This was the case for them.  The one side of the family was anxious for them to get home, but mom has medial issues and they are already strapped financially.  The other side of the family has very little contact with them, and even though they hope for reconciliation with a baby on the way, it didn't seem appropriate to start that process by calling to ask for money. That might have been the thing that turned a strained relationship into a broken one.
We prayed, and I told them that I hoped this was an investment in a future where God was going to use their lives.
They wanted to take some pictures with me before they left.  I couldn't say no, but I'm not a fan of having my picture taken anyway, and I was still wearing the clothes I had been cleaning my house in.  I took a picture of them together too, before they hit to road.  I hope one day, when their child is old enough, they get a chance to talk about this bump on the road in their life journey and how God saw them through.

While I was in the building, I went to drop some things off in the pantry.  One of the really amusing parts of this job is all the random stuff that shows up.  This week it was a big green bin full of weird candy, odd flavors of gum, Slim Jims, and assorted unsual snacky items.  I'm guessing this was stuff that wasn't selling at WaWa, because they removed it during a reset.  We will happily give it away, and I have put up a note pointing out that the gum and candy will make great stocking stuffers.

I also got to chat for a few minutes with one of our key volunteers who was dropping of some rescued food.  She started with us as a food recipient, but this year has been a vital part of our volunteer team.

Friday I did a food rescue pick up at WaWa.  I came back to the pantry and did a talk and tour for some of our preschoolers.  It was fun to show them the WaWa items in the insulated bags (because I didn't leave myself enough time to put it away), because it was a good visual on what food rescue really is.

I had to teach at preschool, and afterwards I had 2 appointments.  Appointment #1 was a new guest and a no show.  Somehow, my Friday appointments are cursed that way.  Nearly every time I make an appointment on a Friday they are either very late or don't show (including people from other agencies I've had meetings with, not just people coming for food).
The second appointment was for a member of our church family.  While we handle everyone's information with confidentiality, church members get special treatment because it is a bit more sensitive when they might know many of our volunteers.  We don't put names on sign in sheets or the outside of folders, and usually only one or two of us ever know who came through.  I try to talk through scenarios with folks in case they see someone they know when they are in for an appointment.  At any given time, I have folks dropping off donations, picking up for deliveries, volunteering, etc.  So while I value honesty, I also value privacy, and we have a few stories worked out in case a church member gets noticed taking food.  Fridays are pretty quiet though, and this person and I were likely the only ones in the building anyway.  We chatted, and this person ran an idea past me for a potential area of ministry they would like to lead and I gave some starting tips.  With everyone, church member or guest from elsewhere, we try really hard to encourage reaching out to others, even in the midst of needing help themselves.

Afterwards, I spent some time rearranging the pantry.  Someone is gifting us a freezer they are getting rid of, so I had to make a spot for it.  Every time I think we have maxed out capacity for our space, God shows me a way to move a few things to make sometime else fit.

Friday night we went to the grocery store.  I am really not good with names, but I am good and remembering people and things about them.  So when someone came up to me and produce and said hi, and I had no idea who they were, I was confused.  I'm sure I'd never met them.  Turns out, they had heard our missions moment a church a few weeks ago.  I tend to think of myself as pretty anonymous, so that was weird.  But it was also lovely that they stopped me to say hello.

Other than answering a few emails, no pantry work today (Saturday), and the cycle of a new work starts all over again with tomorrow's donations.

A Week in the Life of a Food Pantry Leader - Wednesday

Well, really, it was supposed to be a light day for pantry work.  That's the day that I wanted.  That's not the day I got.

On the one hand, we are in a remarkable season where it seems God is moving and growing and changing things in some ways that will come out great on the other side.  I feel like we've been through this cycle before, and that overall God is molding this ministry incrementally.
That said, this is the time in the process where things feel like they are moving very quickly, and a lot happens at once.

So, today.....

I had an appointment after work today for 1 guest who was at work during our normal hours.  I tidied up a bit, got her paperwork ready, and had the stage all set for a smooth and quick appointment.

While I was waiting for her, a group of 3 ladies just showed up thinking we were open.  If I hadn't been there, they would have been turned away by someone else and asked to call me or return next Tuesday.  But since I was right there, with the pantry open, I felt like I needed to help them.

Turns out, they just ran into someone in public who told them we were open today.  I don't even know what caused them to have that conversation.  We used to be open on Wednesdays, but changed that this summer, so I assume the person talking to them had old information.  Still, these same ladies had just visited us on a Tuesday a few weeks ago.  I remember there were some issues with them at that time.  Sadly, not everyone we work with makes it easy.  That doesn't mean they don't need our help, and it doesn't mean that we should not show them grace.  It does mean that to be good stewards of the gifts we have to share we have to be a bit more vigilant with some people.  I don't enjoy that.  As it is, these folks did not provide all the required address verifications that we ask for, though we do usually give people 2-3 visits to produce this information.  It's all about grace.  I strongly suspect that at least 1 or 2 of the 3 are lying to me about their address and living situation in an attempt to get more food.  (I suspect they live together and are claiming 2 households.  That happens.) I am hopeful that spending one on one time with them will inspire their future honesty with us.  It's hard to catch things when we are super busy, and it's hard to have uninterrupted conversations.
So that added a good chunk of time on to that portion of my day, and left me fairly frustrated.

During the course of the morning and afternoon as I was at work and seeing these appointments,  I got at least 4-5 phone messages.  I lost count.  I got at least 1 more this evening, and numerous hangups on our voicemail. I'm guessing the hangups are people calling to listen to our outgoing message to see if (a) we are open next week and (b) we mention giving out turkeys (we are not).

One voicemail was from our senior pastor.  He had gotten in the loop on the temporarily homeless couple I have been working with over the past week.  He wanted to hear more about their story.  It was a nice chat about a variety of issues, both pertaining to these folks and to general operating practices.  He approved a substantial gift to get them on the road.
To follow up on that, I spoke with our finance administrator for a bit, and then had to borrow a staff church credit card to run up the street to buy gift cards.
Tomorrow, on the day I try to always stick to as my day off, I will have to go get the cash the pastor wants to share with them because the way the office is staffed on Friday I will not be able to get it.  The theme of today (and now tomorrow) seems to be that sometimes the simple things just get really complicated.
I called the man from Vermont that we are trying to get home.  We had a really frank discussion. I  let him know the good news that they would hopefully be home by the weekend, along with some extra funds for food and sundry items to help them on their journey.  We talked about scams.  I told him all the ways I had worked to verify his story.  They are either entirely sincere and we really need to help them out of this mess, or they are excellent cons.  I have found nothing that suggests the latter, so we are going with the former, but what they do from here is out of my hands.  He seemed to appreciate my honesty.  I think that's a good sign.  I also reminded him, just in case the latter were true, that I would undoubtedly hear if they were still in town a few days from now.
I am sincerely glad our church stepped up on this one.  He said they had been to countless churches in the area asking for help.  They have a journal with all the places they have been and asked so they could keep track.  He said most said "no," and he knew as soon as he left the building they would never think about them again.  He was touched that our church not only didn't start with a no - even though we gave them a "wait and see"  - but so that he knew that ever since he met our administrative assistant last week and talked to me on the phone that they were being cared about.   He knew we were thinking of him, even if we weren't getting him home.  I told him about how many different people had asked how they were doing after I shared their story, and how they really were in people's prayers, hearts, and minds.  That's the whole point.
Money, food, whatever.
We genuinely cared about this couple, and they got it.

So, moving on from that.....I got a call from a gentleman (well, 2 calls actually) who can't drive.  His daughter picks up food for him, so call #1 was about leaving out some food at the welcome desk for tomorrow.  Call #2 was about an ongoing issue with his power bill that he is actively trying to resolve.  He originally called asking for assistance, which I'm sure meant he was hoping we would help pay the bill.  Well, that's not how this works.  I went over some options with him, called Dominion on his behalf, and got him started on a process to get an extension so he could pay his bill.  He is very on board with this process, but I think he was feeling a little lost and confused in it today so he called to see if I had some answers.  I don't.  I told him to call Dominion tomorrow.
Despite that, he was so gracious.  He said he has attended several churches that talk about how much money they have but don't reach out.  He was so grateful that he found in us a church that is actually willing to do something to help people in the community.  Note that we have given him no money, just a few bags of food.  We have not resolved his power bill issued.
He was grateful that I listened, that I tried, and that a represent a church that supports a ministry where sometimes that's all we give.
We cared, and he got it.

So, really, I think when I sat down to write this post I wanted to gripe a bit about the long day that wasn't supposed to be.  But what a picture of how good God is.

What a day.

A Week in the Life of a Food Pantry Leader - Tuesday

So today is the day we are officially open to walk-ins.

I posted my anticipated schedule yesterday, and other than a minor bump here and there, it worked out pretty much as planned.

It was, in the midst of its busyness, a day filled with blessings and clearly seeing that God is at work here.

After a great coffee meeting with the newest member of our church missions council, I went to pick up our rescued food from Chipotle.  It wasn't ready, even though I arrived during our given window.  There seems to be a big misunderstanding with the manager about timing.  One of the employees did prep the food, but not without making it obvious it was an inconvenience.  He also did a sloppy job, so the bags of food were a mess.  I had to rebag when I got back to the church.  I called Food Donation Connection again to report the situation and they were a bit frustrated with the manager as well.  We will stick with them for the short term, because even if I ultimately decide it isn't worth the effort for the relatively small amount of food we get, I want them to have a better understanding of how this works for the next organization.

When I got back to the pantry, our set up volunteer was well at work.  She really likes working behind the scenes, and being able to walk in to a pantry that is set and ready to go makes my life so much easier.
Our bread had been delivered, and our clothing closet had been organized.  There had also been new donations dropped off that we put away.

My homeless guest was a little late.  I am still working on God to help me with discernment on a judgement call about this couple, and still waiting to see if we are going to be able to give bigger assistance than we have to this point.  Meanwhile, I was able to get him some food they could store and eat in the car (apples, canned soups with pop tops, bananas, cereal, bottled water) and a bit of cash.  Handing over cash makes me nervous on many levels, but this is a tricky situation, and if he is sincere this is the biggest help. Two donors gave me cash for this family, so I passed it along rather than going to get a gift card.

While he was still there, new volunteers came for an orientation.  I got him taken care of, warmed up some WaWa sandwiches in the microwave for them, and sent him on his way.  Got stopped and asked about photos for a church brochure before I could get back to the new volunteers.
I gave them the overview, and they had great questions - but I felt rushed and off my game there.  Still, they did great today despite my less than stellar orientation.

I still had volunteers walking through the door as guests were arriving, but despite my inclination to quickly get moving, I paused to pray with the volunteers who weren't already engaged.  Really glad we got that holy pause in.

We had 10 volunteers working the pantry today, which is a blessing of abundance.  It allowed me a chance to sit and talk to a couple of guests more in depth.  We served 32 different families coming through the door, which was probably closer to 40 individuals in the building. Some people like to bring a family member with them, and one had to bring her children. (Over the past 7 days, we served 96 individuals in 38 households.  Eight were new faces to us.  This is actually a pretty low number of individuals for so many homes, but it's because we saw a lot of seniors who live alone or in couples who are empty nesters.)

The first guest I got to sit down and talk to today was a middle aged woman not much older than myself.  She comes with her mother.  While her mother was out of the room, she told me how she (the daughter) had been recently diagnosed with dementia.  Her doctor had recently told her she needed to leave work and go on disability because of her anxiety and depression.  During some routine tests and evaluations, he diagnosed the dementia.  I'm really glad I got to talk to her.  She seemed as if she were trying to be positive today, and I think it helped her just to talk.

Later in the day, I got to talk to a man about my age whose sister is coming to visit for Christmas.  She is developmentally challenged and lives in an adult group home out of state.  She had a recent MRI to screen for a recurrence of cancer, and wasn't going to be able to come if results were bad.  He was so excited to hear she was okay and coming to visit, and was telling me all about his plans for her Christmas while she is hear.

Still, there was lots of rushing about.  There was a long wait for many people.  This does not make anyone happy.  Some people are much more relaxed about it than others, but several people were a bit grumpy and irritable about the wait.  I know I don't like waiting either.  We reminded folks that if the don't like a wait they can make an appointment for another day.

Even though we technically close at 1:30, we had 1 new guest arrive right at 1:30, and 2 more show up at 1:45.  It was after 2 when we got everyone out.  Volunteers who couldn't stay were invited to leave as they needed, but most stayed.  Several of us were there chatting afterwards for awhile during clean up.
Laura and I both felt the need to tidy up because it looks like a small hurricane came through.  This was a good thing since one of our ministers came down to take the photos for the brochure.  We chatted with her for awhile.

Lucky for me, another volunteer offered to run errands and make a delivery for the shut in guest I spoke to yesterday.  That is a huge help to me.

I still wish I had done more tidying up, but I had to get home to check on my dogs before picking my daughter up at school, so I left it.  Tomorrow I will fix it.

Tomorrow looks like a relatively light day for pantry work, but there are a few things brewing that I could have to handle.
At present, just some tidying up and arranging to get ready for next week, plus 1 appointment with someone whose work schedule conflicted with our hours today.

A Week in the Life of a Food Pantry Leader - Sunday and Monday

I thought it might be interesting to some folks to have an insider's view of what goes into running a pantry.
Note that this time of year is busier than others, not only because more people come for assistance, but also because there are more food drives and donations to manage. I could do the same type of posts 2 months from now and it might be very different.
Still, here is my week so far.

Sunday
Great service this morning focusing on how attached we can get to the things of this world.  That our church is feeding those in need each week got a mention from the pulpit, which makes me happy because (a) it is nice that people know what we are doing and (b) it will probably boost donations this week.

Making my way through the building to meet my daughter and go home, I got stopped by at least 4 different people with pantry questions and discussions, which is awesome because it means people are involved.

Sunday night the women's ministry hosted a dinner. I wanted to be on hand to thank everyone, answer questions, and take care of the donations.  They packed "Stockings for Seniors" using items donated by the youth.  We will give these out to about 40 of our senior adults that come through the pantry, many of whom are fairly lonely and isolated.  The stockings contained devotionals, lotions, candy, tissues, toothpaste, etc.
The women also held a Thanksgiving food drive, and collected huge amounts of Thanksgiving food.  Several ladies helped me shelve stuffing, potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, etc.  while the other women were filling stockings in another room.
I stayed after about 30 minutes to finish putting items away, but ultimately had to leave some things to work on Monday.
I texted my partner Laura with updates on the donations, so that when she shopped at the Central VA Foodbank on Monday morning she would have a idea of our new inventory.

(As a side note, at least 1 person at that dinner has needed help from the pantry before.  I hope I am the only person there who knew that.)

Before bed I responded to an email from a potential new volunteer.

Monday
I work at our church's preschool, which is on the same hallway as our pantry.  I feel blessed God gave me this gift so I can do 2 things at once most days.
On the way in to preschool, I dropped off bottled water in the fridge for our volunteers.
 I also dropped off milk and food items collected by my neighbor.  He volunteers at a local elementary school cafeteria and rescues unused food before it goes into the garbage.  The school won't take it back, but I will happily store it, transport it, clean it if needed, and give it away.
I also put an empty egg carton in our cabinet for the next time we get eggs that need to be divided.  I note that we really need to get eggs so that we can use up the surplus of cartons we have stashed away.

While I was working at preschool, Laura was shopping at Central VA Foodbank.  We have 4 trained shoppers who are allowed to go.  This week, 1 had to work (since she went for us last week) and 1 was out of town, which left Laura and I.  We both sub for the preschool on Mondays, so shopping for us means taking a day off.
She got many things we needed to fill in the nutritional gaps left even after recent food drive (think protein).  She also got soaked unloading the car because it takes awhile to move hundreds of pounds of food. Rainy days do not make for good shopping days.

After preschool, I went to help put things away.  I had a momentary panic about where all the food was going to fit.  About 90 minutes later, it all had a home. Laura has good spatial relations skills.
While we might have more than what we need in the short term, we know that there won't be such extravagant giving after the holidays, so it is good to have plenty of extra to hold over.

I also packed some bags to deliver to 2 senior adult ladies who are not able to get to us.
One is very concerned about healthy eating. She has heart disease and high blood pressure.  She avoids sodium, sugar, and refined white flour when she can, and does not eat red meat. I do the best I can with what we have to get some bags together she will appreciate.
 The other is a very picky  and poor eater.  I don't take her much out of our inventory because it will go to waste.  I look for only the things I know she will use that will help stretch her grocery budget.
On my way home, I deliver to the healthy eater.
While I'm in the car, I call the other.  She will have to wait until another day because I also need to run some errands for her, and she lives farther away.  I tell her to leave me her grocery list on a voicemail, because I will pick up items she pays for herself.  I remind her not to get too much, because she is facing eviction and will be moving any time now.  That's a long story for another blog post.

The phone was busy.  We have a Google voicemail box, so I can check messages on my phone or the computer, but I don't have to give out my phone number.
I talked to one potential new pantry guest, who had questions based on the pantry she used elsewhere before she moved here.  I explained how all pantries are different and gave her some tips for using ours.
I also had to call Food Donation Connection this afternoon, who has arranged our food rescue relationships with WaWa and Chipotle.  We just started picking up food from Chipotle last week, and they have not been putting things online like they are supposed to, so I had to call to report that.
I called one of the homeless couples I met on Friday for an update. (Homeless in our area often means living in a car.)  They are trying to get back home to Vermont.  After having met and talked to them a couple of times now, I feel like they are being honest about their situation.  I send an email to our missions pastor and local missions liason to see what we can do for them.

I confirm a breakfast meeting with a member of our missions council, and wonder if I should invite the homeless couple to join us.  I will wait and see what types of answers might come up before I call them..


Here's what tomorrow is supposed to look like.
8:45-  Breakfast meeting with a member of our missions council
10:20 - Pick up food donation from Chipotle
10:40 - Give a mini tour/talk to a 4 year old preschool class (Our preschool has been having a food drive.)
11:00 - Meet with homeless couple to help get them some more food.  It is tricky to find foods that work for someone living in a car, so I'd rather they didn't come while we are open to everyone.  I want them to have time to look around.
11:30 - Training session with 3 new volunteers
12:00 - Volunteers arrive
12:15 - Pantry is open
sometime between 2-3 (I hope) - Go home.  If it isn't too late, I will deliver to our other senior lady, but that is not looking likely.  I anticipate about 35 families through the door tomorrow.  (When it isn't close to the holidays, we often serve only about 20 families.)

Meanwhile, in the morning we will also have 2 volunteers organizing our Dollar Shop clothing closet, 1 volunteer picking up and delivering bread, and another volunteer setting up our check in and waiting areas.  We will have about 7 of us working while the pantry is open.
By the end of the day tomorrow, nearly 30 volunteer hours will have gone into our pantry for the day.

If I'm lucky, I'll have time to do a recap tomorrow evening.

Us

If you get nothing else from this blog and whatever else is to come here, I hope you come away with an understand that people who use food pantries are not somehow "other."
I am going to get back to this point time and again, but today I want to focus on appearance.

I get the occasional opportunity to talk with groups of kids.  I love to ask them if they think the people who come to the pantry are any different than they are.  It's a fun exercise, because it's a trick question.  It really gets the kids thinking and talking.  Kids tend to be more honest about such things.

There are always at least a few who raise their hand to say that yes, people who use the pantry are definitely different than themselves.
I tell them they are right.
 I have the kids look around at each other and notice all the ways they are different. We talk about how their families are different, and how they like to eat different foods.  We are all different.  Having to use a food pantry is just one difference.
We are all different, and yet the same.

The answer is also that people who use the pantry are not very different form us at all.

Really, what some of these kids are getting at is that food pantry guest must be substantially different. That there is only different and no same.  That "they" are other, and not part of "us."

Often, kids will tell me that people who use a food pantry must have ragged clothes or be dirty or not have shoes..  In some food assistance programs, such as feeding programs for the homeless, this might be true.  I think we see these images in the media a lot, so this sticks with us.
If some of you are honest with yourselves, that might be the image you have of a typical pantry client.
I run a suburban pantry.  In terms of dress, appearance, and cleanliness, I see the same range at the pantry that I would see at the grocery store.  Because many we serve are working poor, people may be dressed nicely from work, or wearing a uniform, just like some of you do.  People may also look pretty ratty, but I have plenty of those days myself.


The other "difference" kids mention is skin color.  I have had a few groups where someone has said "People who use the pantry have dark skin."
The first time I heard that, I was saddened by what I perceived as deeply ingrained racial prejudices at such a young age.
Then I realized......our church had just hosted a Feed My Starving Children food packing event.  There had been posters and videos all over the place featuring dark skinned children from Africa and Haiti.
This led to a good teachable moment.  We had a great talk about the difference between suburban American food insecurity and Third World country hunger and starvation.
But I'm betting some of you have the "dark skin" misconception as well.  I am betting you are not thinking of the kids in Africa.
Well, guess what.  We do serve people with dark skin. And pale skin.  And everywhere in between.  With only one exception, the racial mix that we see in our pantry is very much like our community, which is pretty diverse.  (The biggest difference is that despite a high south Asian population in our area, we have never once served a south Asian family.  We have only rarely served Asian Americans.  I haven't done my research, but I suspect there are some deep cultural reasons for this.)  My guess is that if there is a pantry within a 10 mile radius of your home, the people who go there look a lot like your neighbors.


I need to switch gears here...

I wrote most of this post last night, put it aside to finish later and went to bed.

Today, I went into the pantry and found a number of bags donated by a small local church plant that meets in an area hotel.  I had talked with these folks, and knew they were working on this. They are good people with good intentions.
What shocked me was the note attached to the bags they had used to collect food:

"With the crime rater in Richmond on the rise we have been praying for the safety of your neighborhood.  In an effort to help those who might consider crime out of desperation we are doing a food drive."

While the intention was a good one, the assumption behind this message deeply saddens me.

This blog is young.  I don't have time in one post to tell you about all of my friends who come through the pantry.  Suffice it to say that the 70 year old widow trying to buy medication and struggling to pay for food, the single mom just trying to feed the kids, the educated but underemployed middle class man I know are not your crime problem.  Has anyone we serve ever committed a crime?  I expect so, in much the same way I suspect that in any group involving hundreds of people this could be the case.  I do not expect the crime rate among those we see is much different than the general population of the community they come from.

Listen, we need to keep talking about this.  Follow this blog.  Share it with your friends.  Start a conversation on your Facebook page.  Talk about it over the water cooler.

It's not "us" and "them."

It's just "us."

Let's work on changing the conversation.